Not Quite Home
by thecon12
Summary: When an unexpected move from Ohio to LA causes Spencer to deal with her problems alone, how will she cope when she becomes friends with Ashley, a girl already hiding her own secret. Rated T but will be M in some later on chapters! also on
1. Chapter 1

**Summary **

When an unexpected move from Ohio to LA causes Spencer to deal with her problems alone, how will she cope when she becomes friends with Ashley, a girl already hiding her own secret.

**Disclaimer**

I don't own any of the character used from South of Nowhere; they are simply being used as puppets to act out my own crazy ideas, so please don't sue me

**Author's Note**

Hey everyone, this is my first time writing fanfiction for ages and my first time ever writing SoN. I really hope you'll like my story especially as it gets going and I'd love to know what you all think, constructive criticism is always appreciated, so hopefully you'll enjoy. Also I'd like to say a massive thanks to my best friend and beta **KickMyself **for all the help you've given me with this story, and tell everyone to look out for her fics when they finally hit the board!

I'm uploading the first three chapters of this story at once, so please read+review to let me know what you think and if i should continue I will also be posting this on under the same name.

**TheCon12 x**

**Chapter 1 – Not Quite Home – Anywhere But Here.**

It wasn't quite home yet, the house still didn't have that distinct smell that could only be known to a certain family as 'home', the furniture didn't look natural in their new positions, it looked like they were trying to hard, every cushion lined perfectly on the sofa, every family photo laying at a perfect angle against the wallpaper that they didn't choose, even the dinning table looked as if it was trying to impress, fresh flowers in a new vase set as a centre piece, the nice china and cutlery laid out as if waiting for important guests.

It looked like the perfect family home, but it wasn't the home that they'd been brought up in, it wasn't the home they'd baked cookies in the kitchen, done finger painting at the table, curled up on the sofa when they were ill, but most of all it wasn't the home she felt comfortable in, it just didn't feel like the safe haven her other house did.

Spencer Carlin sat with her back against the wall staring at the stack of boxes that needed to be unpacked in her 'new room', it wasn't her room though, it didn't have the soft pink carpet that felt so soft against her bare feet, it didn't have her shelf with her stuffed teddies from her childhood, but most of all she missed that her room didn't contain the memories of her life, with friends and family, through happy times and sad.

It had been three days since the Carlin family had moved from their beautiful house in Ohio to their new home in LA, it was an opportunity for everyone, that's what her parents had said, although Spencer knew it was her mother's doing really, her dad would have happily stayed in Ohio working at the small youth centre, helping the troubled teens of Ohio sort themselves out to become upstanding members of the community. It was her mother who had wanted the challenge at work, Spencer understood that as a surgeon her mother must long to do some more complex surgeries which she insisted just didn't come up in Ohio, besides LA could do with another surgeon working on the horrific mishaps of the constantly buzzing city.

And then of course there were her two adorable brothers, well one adorable brother and one pain in the butt brother. Glen Carlin, basketball, that was all he cared about well that and the 'hotties' which he kept reminding Clay there would be hundreds of, he wasn't bothered about the move, he was sure that where ever they lived he'd still be the best player of the high school basketball team and irresistible to the girls, which Spencer was sure must have to have been brain dead to be corrupted by Glen and his sleazy sweet talk. Clay Carlin, the adopted brother, the sweet, understanding and hard working one, more worried about working hard and getting good grades than going along with Glen to try and get into the pants of as many girls as he possibly could. Except from being slightly worried about getting into and finding all his classes Clay also wasn't too bothered by the move his family had made.

Spencer sighed, it seemed like she was the only one who was home sick at the moment, maybe unpacking would help make her feel better, she lifted one of the boxes up onto her bed and began to unpack its contents, a few books, CD's, DVD's, her favorite teddy, and a couple of photo albums. It only took Spencer two hours to unpack her boxes, she couldn't believe that of her sixteen years of living in Ohio, that all her personal items had come down to about eight boxes. The room didn't look so bear now, books and CD's lined neatly on the shelf next to her CD player, a few posters up on the wall and her trusty laptop tucked away on the desk in the corner. It was starting to look more like her room now, but it still had the same dreary emptiness it contained before, Spencer was just hoping that her first day at King High tomorrow would help her settle in, she was good at working hard at school, and she knew that with a few assignments her mind would keep from wondering back to her previous life.

Luckily for Spencer, both Glen and Clay could drive which meant she didn't have to take the bus to another new place that she'd have to learn her way around. Glen was the usual jerk and molded into a crowd before she and Clay could say goodbye, Glen was always the first to mix with people, the one to have a bunch of friends within the first day of them living in LA. Clay gently put his hand at the base of Spencer's back and led her to the board with the school map.

"This place is huge, I'm never going to remember how to find all my classes" he trailed his finger along the map until he found the classroom he was looking for. "What about you Spence, will you be ok?"

Spencer turned to see her brother with the sincere concerned look he always had when he knew she was uncomfortable and quiet. "Yeah I'll be fine Clay, I'll figure it out, It's just this place just isn't..." Spencer let her sentence trail off as she shifted her eyes down to her feet.

Clay placed his hand on her shoulder "Look Spence, I know you're having a hard time adjusting to the move, trust me this isn't easy for any of us, but I think mom and dad really need this, I mean you've seen how happy they've been since we moved here."

"Yeah I know Clay and I'm glad they're happy they deserve it, It's just we moved away from home just when I was starting to figure out who I was, and where I belonged in Ohio, and now we're out here, and it's like I've got to start all over again, I mean I have no friends out here..."

"Spence you'll make friends, just give it time, and I know you had some stuff going on before we came out here, Rachel was good for you, she made you happy Spence, and you deserve that, but don't let it get to you, I know mom and dad have both been swamped since we got here, and Glen's well Glen, but I'm here ok? If you want to talk or just go for a walk or anything, don't be afraid to talk to me Spence, or to be who you really are."

"Thanks Clay, I can always count on you, I'm just afraid to be me Clay, mom won't understand"

"Mom will understand Spence, she'll just need time. Look you need to figure you out first before you even think of telling mom and dad anything, and not to mention Glen."

"I know you're right, it just would have been so much easier if I could figure myself out some place where I was already comfortable, the added stress and loneliness of moving out here just adds to the mess I have to go through before I figure it all out." Spencer met her brother's eyes and gave him a warm smile. "But who knows, maybe with my adorable sensitive brother and a new home maybe figuring myself out will be easier than in Ohio."

Clay let a laugh escape his lips "That's all good Spence, but if you start telling people I'm some sweet sensitive guy, I may have to kill you before you get the chance to figure yourself out, I mean this is LA, I need to look all tough and macho."

"But Clay you are a sweet sensitive guy, so deal with it." Spencer replied sticking her tongue out.

Clay gave Spencer a quick hug before he headed off to find his class, he was sweet, but he could be such a loser, he always had to be at class before it even started, and if that was his idea of creating a tough and macho impression he didn't stand a chance.

Spencer decided to try and get a feeling for her new school by just wandering around, and as she trailed through the school grounds she noticed that King High was just another typical high school. The people, her fellow students, were typically grouped off in their little social divides.

There was of course the popular group, the school cheerleaders, who were prancing around in their little cheer outfits flicking their hair back while pouting and giggling at anything the guys from the basketball team (the group that her brother Glen would quickly join) said, and obviously they stopped long enough to snigger at the tall lanky girl with glasses as thick as bottle rims who walked past them carrying a mountain load of books.

Of course this was high school so the other largest popularity of people were the geeks, who were all gathered around tables peering over books (the group that her adopted brother Clay would join), and laughing at each other's lame attempt at jokes, which normally centered around something so intellectual it was more like in depth knowledge that regular kids didn't understand than a joke.

Then there was, what Spencer could only define as outcasts, well they were outcasts but outcasts that had divided into their own groups, so any outcast from one group certainly didn't mix with another group of outcasts, if that made any sense. There was the group that liked art, they liked it so much in fact that it had traveled from their paper to their skin in the forms of tattoos and unnatural looking piercings, the group that had eyes that were so red and bloodshot that there was no way people couldn't know they were on drugs, the group that was clearly involved with drama, as they were carrying around Shakespeare books and doing dramatic hand movements with every word and action they made, the music lovers who all walked around with Ipods and guitars, humming or singing quietly to themselves and the group that contained computer wizards, they all carried laptops and you could here them talking in terms that didn't make sense unless you too knew how to control and command a computer.

There was so many different groups that Spencer was having a hard time keeping track of them, the only group that seemed to be missing were the 'normal' kids, the ones that didn't have any weird and crazed obsession, or studied so hard that studying became their life, and as Spencer looked around she had a strange feeling that she wasn't going to fit in at all, and as she headed off down a hall that led to the cafeteria she mumbled to herself,

"Yup I was right; this place is definitely not quite home."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – Not Quite Home – Displaced.**

It didn't rain very often in LA but when it did rain, it didn't spit, drizzle, or have light little showers, it absolutely pissed it down, torrential. It had been 8 days since the Carlin family had moved here, and this was the second time that it had rained, so much for that postcard picture sunny version of LA that people always talked about, and once again Spencer was trapped at school staring out at the student car park where her brothers car had been parked hours earlier. Clay had been off sick for the last two days with some sickness bug, and Glen was such an unreliable ass that Spencer quickly came to the conclusion that he had forgotten that he was suppose to drive her home.

Worst of all the rain didn't look like it was going to be stopping anytime soon, her mother would be super busy at work, her dad was out of town on some counseling course, and neither of her brothers would think to worry that she wasn't home.

"Dammit! This is so typical" Spencer said angrily to herself as she let her bag fall from her shoulder to the ground. "Here I am stuck in some stupid town, in the pouring rain, with no friends and no ride home."

"Maybe the reason you're still stuck at school in the pouring rain with no friends or no ride home is because you talk to yourself" Spencer turned to see a tall dark haired guy smiling at her, "I'm not sure where you use to live but here in LA talking to yourself is the first sign of madness and people normally try and avoid people who do it."

Spencer wasn't sure why but she found this guy rather charming, in an adorable yet goofy kind of way, when really she should have been irritated by his sudden intrusion into her life. He was still grinning like an idiot which made Spencer smile slightly.

"I'm Aiden" he stepped forward and held out his hand.

"Spencer." She quickly shook his hand, feeling slightly uncomfortable with his friendly confidence.

"Well Spencer I'm guessing since you think LA is stupid you probably haven't lived here long? You probably come from some small town with lots of corn fields and sunshine all the time, huh?"

Spencer laughed a little and flashed him a quick smile "So not only did you suddenly appear from nowhere and call me a mad person, you're also calling me some kind of corn field loving farmer? You really do know how to make a good first impression."

"Firstly I didn't appear from nowhere, I just came from the gym, secondly you were talking to yourself which does make you at least slightly mad, thirdly I never said that you were a farmer, I merely suggested that perhaps you were from somewhere less frantic than LA, which by the way is not a stupid town, and finally and most importantly I think I do make a good first impression." He smiled again; he did have a gorgeous smile.

Spencer shook her head, this guy was unbelievable, he was kind of being an asshat but in a charming and slightly polite way. She quickly let her eyes travel over him, he was wearing a white t-shirt that showed off his muscled biceps, black shorts and trainers and was holding a gym bag in his left hand which had a jacket draped over it.

"Now that I've had a proper look at you I can clearly tell you've come from the gym, you probably spend a good hour in there working out and waiting until nobody's looking before getting to the steroids."

"Ouch!" he replied while he lifted his right hand to his chest, "That was harsh." He let a chuckle escape him.

Spencer smiled at him again, "I don't think it was that harsh, but maybe that's because I'm some crazy bitch who talks to herself, and I'm from Ohio not a barn in a field that's full of haystacks."

"Well then Spencer from Ohio since I did happen to hear you talking to yourself in one of your regular, yet mad moments I was wondering whether you needed a ride home?"

"That would be great, thank you."

"No problem."

Aiden had no trouble finding Spencer's street as he said he use to have a friend who lived down there; he pulled up in front of her house.

"There you go, home sweet home."

"Thanks for the ride Aiden it was very sweet of you."

"No problem Spencer from Ohio, I wouldn't have risked leaving you at school in the rain just incase the madness intensified and you did something much more dangerous than talking to yourself."

"Yeah thanks for that, you just saved me from attacking another steroid worshipper from the gym, I guess I'll just have to go and kick my brother's asses instead." He laughed and she smiled "Thanks again for the ride Aiden from LA."

Spencer opened the door and made a mad dash for the front door of her house.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

As soon as Spencer got inside the house she walked into the living room to find Glen playing some stupid video game, he didn't even turn to look at her which really pissed her off.

"Hey jerk, where the hell were you? You were supposed to give me a ride home from school."

"Oh yeah sorry about that I was busy with stuff…" He didn't turn around or stop playing the video game as he answered her.

"Busy?! With what? You do nothing except eat, sleep, and play basketball." Spencer replied angrily as she stood in front of the TV to try and get his attention.

"That's not true, I do the ladies too." He winked at her.

"God Glen you are such a pig!" Spencer picked up a pillow and hit him with it.

"Whoa calm down there baby sis, I'm not the only one who has been mixing with the hotties of LA, don't think I didn't see you getting out of that dude's car."

"The guy who gave me a ride home was not a hottie, in fact he was some gym loving freak who happened to be polite enough to give me a ride considering I was stuck at school in the rain without a way home."

"Whatever sis at least I got you mixing with the people, you haven't made any friends since we've been here."

"You didn't get me anything other than pissed off, and maybe I have made friends I just haven't told you about them, I don't tell you everything you know."

"Spence you don't have any friends here, I saw you sitting alone at lunch for the past 3 days, just face it, Ohio is in the past, LA is home now, and you need to start fitting in, just because there is no whores around here like Rachel for you to hang out with doesn't mean you should give the Carlin family a bad reputation, Clay does enough of that already."

"You are such an asshole." Spencer chucked the pillow at Glen and stormed off upstairs to her room.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Spencer hadn't bothered going down to eat whatever disastrous meal Glen had tried to cook for her and Clay, she was still too pissed at him, and even if she wasn't she wouldn't have wanted to end up with food poisoning, so she had stayed up in her room looking through all the things she had bought with her from Ohio.

She was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed staring down at a photo album which was full from front to back with pictures of her and all her friends from Ohio having all sorts of fun, when she heard a knock at her door.

"Come in."

Spencer's mom appeared wearing her scrubs, she looked exhausted, which was nothing new to Spencer; her mother always was a workaholic, spending more time with other people's families than she did with her own.

"Hey sweetheart I just wanted to see if you were ok before I go to bed. Did you have a good day?" her mother smiled at her from the doorway.

Her mother had been so happy since they moved here that Spencer found it slightly creepy, she loved her new job which wasn't a surprise to anyone, but even when she wasn't suppose to be at work she somehow managed to come out with some lame excuse to stay at the hospital later than she should. Her dad had tried to convince her that it was just because she was excited about her new job and that LA had a much faster pace than Ohio and everything would slow down once they had all settled in.

Spencer gave her mother the warmest smile she could manage, "I'm good thanks mom, school is fine, I'm finding all my classes easier now, it's much bigger than back home. How are you? You look really tired, busy day at work?"

Spencer watched her mother's face light up as she asked her about work, "I'm glad you've had a good day, I worry about you kids settling in somewhere new half way through the school year, and I'm fine, really tired, I was constantly on my feet, but I'm loving every minute of it."

"That's good mom, I'm glad you love your new job."

"Me too, and I'm glad you kids are loving it here in LA just as much as me and your father are," her mother quickly planted a kiss on Spencer's forehead, "Goodnight sweetheart."

"Night mom."

As Spencer watched her mother close the door behind her she realized that she hadn't heard any other members of her family admit to loving LA, sure Glen was constantly talking about the girls, and Clay was always talking about clubs he could join, but that didn't mean that they loved it here in LA, did it? But what bothered her most was that her mother had presumed that her father loved LA, and although he'd never admit to it, Spencer had a feeling that he missed home just as much as she did.

Spencer slid the photo album back under her bed and instead grabbed out her old diary, maybe Glen was right, maybe she did need to move on from her life in Ohio and try and fit in here in LA.

Spencer opened her diary to look at a picture that was taken within the last year of them living in Ohio, it was of her and Rachel, they were sitting outside near some beautiful lake with the sun shining brightly in the background, Spencer was sitting between Rachel's legs and Rachel had her arms wrapped around her waist.

But then again Spencer realized as she stared down at the photo where Rachel's lips were touching her own, that there were just some things that you would always remember, memories that cut too deep, things that you just couldn't forget.


	3. Chapter 3

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 3 – On My Feet Again.**

Spencer was realizing that drinking a lot the morning before you had a test was a bad idea, she was in her English class, supposed to be writing an important essay on a book that the class had been assigned to read but she couldn't concentrate.

_I knew I shouldn't have drank those four cups of juice this morning, cut it out Spence you're suppose to be writing this essay, damn I really need to pee, thinking about it is not helping! Try something else, anything, ooh I know I'll count, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, ok this is so not working_. Spencer snapped herself out of her thoughts, and raised her hand.

Her English teacher, Mrs. Heder, was a relatively old women, she had white permed hair, big glasses and always wore a summer dress with a cardigan. "Yes Miss Carlin what can I do for you?"

"I need a toilet pass." Spencer tried to give Mrs. Heder the look that would normally get any other women to sympathize with you, but Mrs. Heder was clearly older than Spencer though, she was apparently not relatively old but ancient and didn't pick up on Spencer's look at all.

"Can't it wait Miss Carlin, this is a test, you are supposed to be writing an essay, have you finished your essay Miss Carlin?"

Spencer looked down at her paper which only contained a few paragraphs, "Not quite."

"Well then Miss Carlin, until you have finished your essay there will be no toilet breaks."

By this time a few of the other students had looked up from their essays to see what was going on between the two.

_Oh great! Now I have an audience and the old dragon won't let me go, and this has taken so long that I need to go even more!_

"Look Mrs. Heder, I really need to go, it's erm that time of the month." Spencer tried to look convincing by placing her hand over her stomach.

Mrs. Heder quickly catching on responded, "Oh I see, you should have mentioned that earlier dear, take as long as you need."

Spencer flashed Mrs. Heder a quick smile, and grabbed the pass, leaving the room without making eye contact with any of the other students in the room, who by this time were probably all bitching about her.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Once Spencer had relieved herself of a few pounds of juice that she was sure was about to burst her bladder she headed back towards her class and stopped when she saw two girls in cheerleader outfits pushing another girl into some lockers. She couldn't quite hear what they were shouting at each other but it sounded fierce and looked nasty.

Spencer would normally have just kept going, she didn't like to get involved with other people's business, but she felt as if her feet were glued to the ground, she watched the argument for a few more seconds, and saw one of the cheerleader's shove the girl really hard into the lockers so that she fell down hard onto the ground before they marched off leaving the poor girl behind on the floor.

Spencer quickly ran over to the girl and knelt down in front of her, "Oh my god are you ok?" she asked as she helped the girl to her feet.

The girl wouldn't meet Spencer's eyes, "I'm fine seriously, that was nothing, thanks for your help but you can go now."

She turned her back to Spencer and opened her locker, Spencer was shocked that this girl who had just been practically attacked in the hall way wouldn't look at her properly, and so she decided that it was best to leave this mysterious girl alone as she clearly didn't want to talk, but as she was walking away she heard a few sobs.

Spencer wasn't sure what to do, she should just leave her alone because that was what she clearly wanted but Spencer felt strangely drawn to the girl, as if there was something about this girl that made her feel curious and want to know more.

"Here let me look," Spencer didn't remember when she decided to try again with this girl or how she had turned the girl towards her, but she had somehow managed to place her hand under the girl's chin to lift her face up to hers, so that there eyes would meet. The first thing she noticed was that this girl had a split lip but once Spencer's blue eyes had met with the most beautiful brown eyes she had ever seen she was lost.

"It's just a cut, I don't know why I'm upset anyway," Spencer was pulled from her thoughts by the girl's sexy voice, "You can let go of my face now."

Spencer quickly removed her hand from under the girls chin, "Yeah, sorry about that, I just wanted to make sure you were ok, I mean those girls looked liked they'd really hurt you."

The girl quickly wiped away her tears and then smiled at her, "Thanks, that was really nice of you, most people around here don't care about anyone other than themselves."

Spencer smiled back, this girl had beautiful eyes, a sexy voice, and an absolutely gorgeous smile, "I've noticed that too and maybe that's why I stopped, I'm not just another girl from around here, I'm nice, I'm from Ohio."

"So that would make you fresh meat to the animals of LA?"

Spencer laughed, she had been trying to come up with a word to describe the people of LA since she'd arrived, she just didn't think it would be 'animals', although she had to agree it did suit most of them, "Yeah I'm new, I just didn't realize that I'd become fresh meat to the hungry animals of LA."

"Well that's because you come from Ohio and until you've actually lived in LA you won't understand LA. I'm Ashley by the way, Ashley Davies; it's nice to meet you?"

Spencer quickly filled in the gap, "Carlin, no wait I meant Spencer."

Ashley raised an eyebrow at her and a smile appeared on her face, "So which is it, Carlin Spencer or Spencer Carlin?"

Spencer could feel herself blushing, "Oh god I'm such an idiot when I meet new people," she lifted her hand to her face and took a deep breath before she replied, "I'm Spencer Carlin, and I'm not normally this weird, well at least not all of the time."

"Well Spencer Carlin, if that is your real name, it was nice to meet you, even if it had to be when I was getting my butt kicked by hula Barbie and her sidekick, and you had to come to my rescue like a knight in shining armor."

"It's good to meet you too Ashley, even though you had to get roughed up before I could come along on my horse and save you."

"You're kind of goofy, has anyone ever told you that?" Ashley asked smiling at Spencer.

"All the time in fact, but has anyone told you that your lip is still bleeding?" Ashley lifted her hand to her lip while Spencer grabbed a tissue from her pocket, "Here take this, don't worry it isn't used or anything."

"Thanks," Ashley took the tissue and held it to her lip, "Anyway are you supposed to be in a lesson? Either that or you were just walking around the halls?"

"Ah crap! I was supposed to be in English writing an essay for some test but I had to pee,"

"So you got a toilet pass, went to the toilet and then came to my rescue." Ashley cut in and smiled again.

"Yeah that sounds about right, except now I would have been missing for ages and not only will the teacher be mad the rest of the class will think I have serious bladder issues, as if they already needed another reason not to like me."

Ashley thought Spencer was joking at first but then she realized that the smile had disappeared from her face and had been replaced by a look of sadness, "Don't worry about what they all think, remember they're animals and you were busy off rescuing a damsel in distress." She gave Spencer a massive smile.

"Yeah you're right, thanks. I guess I had better get going back to class before they think I fell in or something. Hopefully I'll see you around." They smiled at each other and then Spencer began walking back towards her class, feeling happy but at the same time disappointed that she hadn't really made a new friend, just because you talk to someone once doesn't make you automatic friends.

"Hey Carlin, maybe we could get together after school and hang out?" Spencer stopped and turned back around when she heard Ashley call out after her, Ashley was smiling and for the first time since she'd arrived in LA Spencer felt herself really smile, who knows maybe LA wasn't quite home just yet, but it was suddenly starting to feel like maybe it could.

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**So you've read the first few chapters, and i hope you liked them. Hit review and let me know what you think!**

**TheCon12 x**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note**

Just wanted to say thanks for anyone who took the time to read this and leave me some feedback! I'm probably going to update this story everyday, so keep an eye out for it and let me know what you think.

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 4 – Loose Ends.**

Spencer was starting to think that the day wouldn't end, since her unusual and unexpected encounter with Ashley she hadn't been able to think about anything else. Luckily her English teacher hadn't seemed angry when she reappeared after 10 minutes; it was only a couple of girls at the back of the class who sniggered and began to whisper to each other when she walked back to her seat.

When the bell rang to signal the end of the day Spencer couldn't stop herself from smiling, but as she picked up her books and bag and headed towards the student car park she realized that her and Ashley hadn't made definite plans to hang out after school, and as she scanned the groups of people leaving she had a funny feeling that she had misread the situation completely.

The crowds of people were now turning into groups of fewer people, and as Spencer looked around the car park one last time she started to realize that she had misread the situation.

_Spencer you are such an idiot! How could you even think for a second that Ashley actually meant what she said? She was just being nice…_

"Is that your confused face? Or your angry face? Or perhaps a combination of both?" Spencer felt herself smile as Ashley interrupted her thoughts.

"I guess it was a combination of both. Good day?" Spencer knew she must have been blushing and she really didn't want to explain to Ashley what had bought on her confused/angry thoughts so she quickly changed the subject.

"Oh it was pretty good, had dull classes, got attacked by a crazed bitch and her minion, met some goofy girl, had more dull classes and now I'm back with the goofy girl," Ashley gave Spencer a goofy grin, "What about you Carlin, how was your day?"

Spencer felt herself smile again, normally she hated being called 'Carlin' it made her feel like she was being talked to by a teacher or shouted at by her parents, but when Ashley called her it she felt strangely giddy.

"Oh it was pretty good, had dull classes, swooped in and saved some damsel in distress, had more dull classes and now I'm back with the damsel although she looks like she can hold her own at the minute."

"Making fun of me in a goofy way, I kind of like it. So I was planning on going to get a smoothie, and since I might need your protection and all I wanted to know whether you wanted to go with me?"

"Well I better just check my protection pocket book to make sure I don't have any other ass kicking to do," Ashley smiled and rolled her eyes at her "You're lucky I'm all free."

"Good, now get in the car before you turn into a complete goofball."

Ashley led Spencer to her car, reversed out of her space, and headed towards the exit of the school before turning her music up.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Instead of going to get a smoothie they decided to head back to Ashley's place as she ensured Spencer that her mother wouldn't be around and they'd have the place totally to themselves. Ashley parked her car and led Spencer inside of her house.

"Wow this is a really nice house, are you some kind of millionaire?" Spencer couldn't stop herself from looking around, this place was amazing, not to mention massive.

"Not quite, my dad's in a band and this is what my mom got in the settlement." Ashley replied as she headed to the kitchen to grab them a drink and some food.

"She must have been really pleased to get this place, it gorgeous." Spencer was stilling looking around, soaking up the Davies' mansion as she followed Ashley to the kitchen.

"Yeah she was pleased that she got to keep this place, her car, her clothes, and the maid," Ashley passed Spencer a can of Pepsi; "the only thing that she didn't want in the settlement and ended up with was me."

"I'm sure that's not true," Spencer watched as Ashley dropped her gaze to the ground and tinkered with her Pepsi can, "Hey, you're great." Spencer kept staring at Ashley until she lifted head back up so that their eyes were meeting, "Seriously."

"Yeah well my mother doesn't think so and my dad doesn't trust me enough to let me live by myself until I'm 19 so I'm stuck here." Ashley tried to give Spencer a reassuring smile and then led her up to her bedroom.

"So does your dad travel around a lot?" Spencer asked taking a seat next to Ashley on her bed.

"Yeah he's hardly ever around; I guess if I counted how many times I saw him in a year I'd be able to count it on one hand." Spencer saw that same look of pain and sadness cross over her face that had appeared when she spoke about her mother.

"That must suck; I'd hate not being able to see my dad, although I think I could manage not seeing my mother much considering she's always at work anyway."

"So is your mom some kind of lawyer or something else important?"

"Yep, she's a surgeon, so she's always working late, but my dad's great, he was always around for me and my brothers' when we were growing up and not to mention he gives the best advice, but that's probably because he's a councilor for young troubled teens and not to mention he cooks the yummiest food."

"What about your brothers, what are they like?"

Spencer loved how comfortable she felt with Ashley already, they'd barely known each other a few hours and yet here they were sitting on Ashley's bed talking about each other's lives.

"Well my older brother Glen is an ass, he always picks on me, we fight a lot, and he gets on my nerves all the time, especially when he talks about how good he is at basketball but he's my brother so I love him, My other brother is adopted, his name is Clay, he's the complete opposite of Glen, he's the intelligent one, he wants to go to medical school like mom did."

"Sometimes I wish I had a sibling but most of the time I'm kind of glad that I don't, I mean what if they would have turned out like my mother, it would be a nightmare." Ashley smiled at her again, god she was stunning, Spencer couldn't believe how beautiful she was.

"Earth to Carlin?"

_Shit_, Spencer knew her face must be bright red; she'd been caught not only staring but daydreaming too. "Huh I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Ashley laughed a little, "You're so weird. I just asked why you moved out here from Ohio?"

"Oh right, sorry," Spencer let out a little goofy laugh, "I was completely spaced out just then. We moved out here because my mom got offered a job at the hospital here, well that's the real reason, but my family seem to pretend that it was a 'good choice for the whole family'" Spencer repeated the last bit doing air quotes.

"Well LA is a great city, don't give me that look, trust me you'll grow to love it, there's nowhere better."

"Well so far LA has been really lame, my family never seem to be around, it's rained twice, I sit by myself at school and I hadn't talked to anyone properly since today and yet you are the second person to tell me that LA is not stupid and that I'll love it."

"Wow the other person who said that about LA must be my soul mate, who was it?" Ashley was still smiling, it was like she didn't stop, and because she smiled Spencer couldn't stop herself from smiling either.

"Oh it was some guy, I was stuck at school the other day when it rained without a ride home because my dumbass brother forgets about me, when this guy appeared from out of nowhere, even though he said it was from the gym and gave me a ride home."

As soon as Spencer had said the word 'gym' Ashley had gotten this weird look on her face. "Do you remember his name?"

"Erm yeah I think it was Aiden. Why, do you know him?" Spencer asked with a concerned look on her face.

Ashley let out a deep breath, "Yeah I do, Aiden would be my ex-boyfriend."

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**Please review and let me know what you think **

**TheCon12**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note**

Just wanted to thank everyone again for spending the time to read this and leave me feedback, I really appreciate it.

Also my Beta KickMyself has a story up, I recommend you read it at once, it's amazing!

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 5 – Beautiful Disgrace.**

Neither of them had said anything for a few minutes, Ashley was staring at Spencer with the most pained expression she had ever seen. Spencer wanted to say something, anything, but she could feel a lump in her throat holding back the words, and she wasn't sure if they were caused by her genuine concern for Ashley or at her own shock_, of course she's straight, she's beautiful, kind, sweet and funny, what were you thinking, say something you idiot!_

"I…erm….I'm sorry." Spencer knew it was pathetic and she'd mumbled it but she couldn't think of anything else to say.

Ashley tore her gaze away from Spencer just long enough to plaster a fake smile across her face, "It's fine, don't worry, how were you to know."

At this point Spencer was feeling like a complete idiot, she thought that not only was Ashley stunning, and that they were quickly becoming friends but she actually thought they'd been flirting, that there was chemistry between them, but now she was realizing it was just her own mind playing stupid jokes on her. But at the same time she knew that she wanted to keep hanging out with Ashley even if it meant that they were just friends and to do that she'd have to be supportive and ask personal questions to cement their friendship.

"How long were you two together?" She asked quietly hoping that if Ashley found it rude she'd just pretend she didn't hear it.

Ashley just stared at Spencer for awhile as if she wasn't sure whether she should be grateful that she'd asked or angry, "A year, we'd been friends for a couple of years before that but then last year something just changed and we got together and it was so perfect, it felt so right you know?" It was a rhetorical question but that didn't stop Spencer from thinking of Rachel.

"If it felt so right and was that perfect then how come you broke up?"

"I…we…it just…" Ashley was stumbling over her words and Spencer couldn't help but feel that she'd stepped over the line.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked that, it's rude and not to mention none of my business."

Ashley smiled and reached over and grabbed Spencer's hand, "Don't be sorry, I don't mind you asking, it's just I'm not very good at this, the whole close girl friend, sharing stories and secrets thing."

Spencer gave Ashley's hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it, "Well maybe that's because all the girls around LA suck, except you of course, and you should have listened to me when I said this place was stupid."

Ashley let a small laugh escape her, "Fine I agree the girls here in LA do suck, they're too bitchy to be real friends, and we don't really do sharing around here unless it's a rumor."

Spencer's face lit up with a huge smile, "Why am I not surprised, you girls are so Hollywood out here."

"We are not!" Ashley gave Spencer a gentle shove.

"You are too!"

"Okay then Miss Carlin from nice town; tell me one of your secrets, one that nobody else knows."

Spencer could feel the lump building in her throat again as her cheeks began to flush and her hands began to sweat. She felt like she could trust Ashley but then again she'd only known her for like a day, and if Ashley didn't like what Spencer told her then she'd end up with no friends again and probably the laughing stock of the school.

"Don't look so nervous, you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to." Ashley had interrupted her thoughts once again, and now it was her turn to look concerned.

"It's just that this secret is pretty big, no one knows, well except one person back in Ohio and well if I tell you, you could end up hating me."

"Hey there's no way I'd ever end up hating you, and if you're worried about me telling anyone you really shouldn't, I'm a complete loner at school everyone hates me."

Spencer couldn't believe what Ashley had just said, I mean how could anyone hate her? She was so nice, and surely the boys would be all over her?

"There's no way you're not popular at school, I mean you have met you right?"

Ashley laughed, "Thanks for the vote of confidence, but people tend not to like me because I'm rich, I'm bitchy and I was dating the basketball star of the school."

Spencer took another look at Ashley's deep brown eyes; they were so addictive; she felt like she could fall into them forever. She look a deep breathe, "Okay then, since you told me that sort of secret about you, which I still find hard to believe, I'll tell you mine," She paused again and closed her eyes, Spencer thought that Ashley would surely tell her to either get on with it or not bother at all but she didn't say a word, she just sat patiently waiting for Spencer to work up enough courage, and when she opened her eyes again Ashley's brown ones were waiting just as patiently to connect with hers again.

"Back in Ohio I dated this guy I knew from school called Josh, we didn't date for too long only a couple of months until he decided to cheat on me. Anyway I caught him with this other girl at some party we were at, and all of my friends were either to drunk or to caught up in their own boyfriends to realize I was upset, so I left the party and went to sit on some stupid swings at a park that were just across from the guy's house who's party it was so that I could put my face in my hands and cry and that was when I heard someone sit down on the swing next to me."

"Okay this better be a nice story and not some creepy drunk guy rape story." Ashley quickly interrupted.

Spencer shook her head, "No it's nothing like that!"

"That's good then I was just checking, you can carry on now."

"Anyway so I heard someone sit down on the swing next to me and I thought I had better quickly wipe my face and then look up to see who it was, I was kind of expecting it to be Josh since he had seen me when I walked in on him. But it wasn't Josh; it was this girl that I'd seen a couple times before at a few parties, she went to a different school than me so I didn't really know anything about her. I looked at her but she never said anything to me, she just handed me a tissue to wipe my face, and from there I'm not really sure how but she offered me a ride and we ended up in some small café talking all night."

By this time Ashley looked rather confused about where this story was headed and Spencer didn't blame her one bit, besides when it really had happened even Spencer wasn't sure where it was headed or what was happening until it hit her like a slap to the face.

"We talked about everything and anything, it was so great because we sort of just clicked, there was something about it that just felt right, natural. I learned lots about her and it was really strange because she didn't think twice about trusting me she just did. After that night we started hanging out loads, she was different to my other friends, she wasn't just trying to be another face in the crowd, she was different, she wasn't afraid to do things and like things that other people didn't." Spencer stopped to catch her breath.

"This went on for about 3 months. Then one weekend she invited me to stay over at her house, her mom was going to be out of town with some guy she was dating. So I went, we hung out, watched movies, talked, all the normal stuff, and then she asked me where I wanted to sleep, she said I could stay with her in her room or she'd make a bed up for me on the couch. I didn't think anything of my answer at the time, I said I might as well stay with her, that way we could stay up later and goof around, but she told me she had something she wanted to show me first before I made my mind up." Spencer risked looking at Ashley, who was staring at her with concern and a small smile. Spencer was glad Ashley was smiling; she was starting to get more nervous as she went on with the story.

"Anyway she grabbed my hand and led me to her room, once we got there she handed me a photo, it was a picture of her and some red headed girl kissing. I stared at the picture for a couple of minutes letting it all sink in before I looked back up at her. It was when Rachel started to explain to me that she was gay and that the picture was of her and an ex-girlfriend. That's when it finally clicked with me."

Spencer had stopped again and Ashley knew she should give her a moment but she just couldn't wait, "What finally clicked with you?"

"That the reason I liked hanging out with Rachel so much more than my other friends was because she got me like they couldn't understand, that she already knew…" Spencer let her eyes drift from Ashley down to her hands.

Ashley gently let her right hand cup the side of Spencer's face and raise it back so that their eyes were once again meeting, Ashley gave her a warm smile which caused Spencer to squeeze her eyes shut, she let out a deep shaky breath before she opened her eyes again revealing the tears that has managed to escape down her cheek while she gave Ashley the answer that she'd been waiting for, "That I was gay too."

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Feedback?


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note**

Hope everyone's enjoying this so far; hopefully more drama will unfold in the next few chapters, so stick around and let me know what you think.

Also you should read my Beta **KickMyself**'s fic "No Time to Breathe"

**TheCon12**

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 6 – That Particular Time.**

Luckily for Spencer, Ashley hadn't left behind a red stinging mark on her face, she hadn't jumped up and looked at her with disgust, she hadn't shouted and screamed that she hated her while she threw her out of her house. She hadn't reacted in any of the ways that Spencer had expected when she told people she was gay. Ashley had simply pulled her into an embrace and rubbed her back reassuringly.

Afterwards Spencer had been left with red puffy eyes and Ashley didn't think it would be fair to send her home to her family since she was obviously having a really hard time dealing with being gay and moving to LA. Ashley had asked Spencer to stay for dinner, and since neither of the girls were particularly good chefs they decided to order a pizza.

"You want the last slice?" Ashley asked as she titled the pizza box towards Spencer.

"No way, I'm stuffed. Thanks for letting me stay for dinner Ashley." Spencer gave her a warm smile.

"No worries Carlin, us nice girls have to stick together."

"I'm really sorry about earlier, I didn't mean to get all wimpy and emotional."

"Hey it's no worries," Ashley quickly gave Spencer's shoulder a gentle squeeze; "you don't need to apologize at all."

"Thanks for being so understanding."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"How long have you known that you were gay?"

Spencer noticed that Ashley looked almost nervous while she asked, "I guess on some level I always knew I was different, but you notice nobody else looks like something is bothering them all the time, so you just try and fit in, you do the normal things that they do and push it to the back of your mind, thinking it will pass or it's just a phase. Rachel told me that she'd known I was gay from the first time she'd seen me, she said it was just this look I had in my eyes when I was with my friends, like I was acting, like I never quite fit, that having a guy all over me made me look uncomfortable. It was being friends with her, seeing how she was, how comfortable and happy she was with herself that gave me the courage to admit it to myself, I realized that the reason I hurt all the time was because I was lying to myself, and it became to painful to keep it hidden anymore, I was finally ready to take that step, to be who I really was," Spencer stopped to catch her breath and smiled at Ashley, "So really I've known forever, but I've only just started becoming comfortable with it this last year."

"Wow that sounds so intense; I'd hate having to live my life as a lie, it must be so difficult. I take it that your family doesn't know?"

"No way, my family is major religious, my mother would disown me! Except my brother Clay knew something was going on back home, but he doesn't know that I'm actually gay. I think my other brother Glen would act like my mom, but I'm not sure how my dad would be, he might take it well, or he could turn out like my mother."

"Well in that case I'm really glad that you told me, that I'm going to get to know the real you." Ashley smiled.

Spencer couldn't help herself; even now that she knew Ashley was straight, every time she smiled, every time their eyes met Spencer felt like she couldn't breathe. _It's nothing, you're new to LA and she's the nicest person you've ever met, nice, caring, beautiful, sexy…knock it off she's just your friend, your total gorgeous friend._

"Well since you get to be the first person in LA and one of the only people so far to know the real me, don't I get to know the real you? Including what happened between you and Aiden?"

Ashley laughed, "Slow down Carlin. I'm sure you'll get to know what happened between me and Aiden…eventually," she stuck her tongue out at Spencer, "Maybe you could start with something easier, and since I'm not good at this sharing thing you're going to have to ask me questions."

"Fine by me, what happened between your mom and dad? I mean like how long have they been divorced?"

"Well like I said my dad's in a band and my mom met him at some party, they got married really quickly, and shortly after that my mom got pregnant and then there I was," Spencer smiled at her, "Then when I was around eight my mom and dad got divorced, they'd been arguing for years so I wasn't really surprised, but I didn't realize that the main reason they ended was because my dad left my mom for some roadie that he was sleeping with, and then I ended up getting stuck here with my bitch mother who hates me for no reason, while my dad traveled around the world doing drugs and sleeping with anyone."

"I'm really sorry, that must really suck." Spencer frowned.

"Yeah it does, I wish my dad was around, I hate living here with my mom but he's never going to stop being Mr. Rock star."

Spencer and Ashley spent the next two hours just talking, Spencer learned all about Ashley's childhood and past, and Ashley learned the same about Spencer, the only thing that Spencer still didn't know was about Aiden.

"Come on you know you want to tell me." Spencer nudged Ashley's shoulder.

"Okay, okay I'll tell you as long as you stop nudging me."

"Hey I do not nudge." Spencer nudged Ashley again as she laughed slightly.

"You just did it again! You're a total nudger, just admit it, you're butch." Ashley burst out laughing as saw as she saw the fake offended look on Spencer's face.

"I'm not butch! I just like wearing flannel, working out and back-combing my mullet." By this time both girls were laughing so hard that they both had tears escaping from their eyes.

"Is that why you met Aiden in the gym?" Spencer laughed and shook her head and gave Ashley a nudge again, "Fine I'll tell you about me and Aiden."

"Whenever you're ready I'm all ears."

"Like I said me and Aiden were friends for a couple of years first, we'd been in the same class at school forever, he was always nice to everyone and so funny, he used to make everyone feel like they were part of the group, but I was always a loner. One day we got paired up to do some stupid class assignment, we had two weeks to spend on it, so we started getting together after school to do it, and for the first two to three days we just got on with the work and didn't really say anything to each other. Then one day some song came on the radio and we both loved it, we started dancing and goofing around and for the rest of the two weeks we just got to know each other and had loads of fun. We never did finish the assignment and after that we were just really good friends, we spent nearly all our time together." Ashley stopped and gave Spencer a smile.

"Don't smile you haven't got to the good stuff yet and I want details." Ashley laughed.

"Don't worry Miss gossip I wasn't going to stop the story," Ashley rolled her eyes as Spencer stuck her tongue out, "Aiden was on the basketball team so he hung out with a lot of the popular guys, anyway he was supposed to take me to the movies one Friday but a guy on the team was having a house party so he took me there instead. There was lots of dancing, laughing, drinking and talking and we were having a really great time, then that same song came on at the party and we both stopped and just stared at each other, it was weird, like there was a magnetic force drawing us together, we just couldn't take our eyes off each other, and before you know it we're not only making out, we're having sex in the back of his car."

"That it so hot!" Spencer looked shocked but amused all at the same time.

"Yeah it was hot, unexpected and hot, but not the most romantic way to lose your virginity." Ashley gave Spencer a half smile.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to be an ass, I just assumed you'd already had sex."

"Don't worry about it. At least I'll always remember it."

"So did you guys get together after that?" Spencer asked curiously.

"Yeah we did, not straight away though, I think we were both shocked at how sudden everything had happened we didn't talk about it that night; he just drove me home. I was worried that he was going to avoid me, but the next morning my doorbell rang and there was Aiden standing there looking really adorable and goofy holding a massive bunch of beautiful flowers." Ashley smiled as she let herself get lost in the memory.

Spencer watched her close her eyes and smile to herself. It didn't matter how much Spencer tried to focus on the fact that Ashley was straight, or that she seemed to still be love in love with Aiden, she just couldn't help herself from thinking about how beautiful and amazing she was.

"We were together for a whole year after that, he was the perfect boyfriend, sweet, caring, sensitive, protective, and my best friend all in one."

"So why'd it end?"

Ashley looked flushed again as soon as Spencer asked her the question, "I was just scared."

Spencer looked confused at Ashley's response, "Scared of what? I thought he was perfect."

"That was the problem, he was too perfect. I'd never had someone in my life who loved me like he did, who stuck around like he did. I'd dated a lot of guys, but as soon as they realized I wasn't willing to just sleep with them, they dumped me. My parents have never really stuck around when I needed them either. So when A and me got together I was really scared that I'd ruined our friendship by just sleeping with him, that he was going to just leave like everyone else did. But he didn't, he was there for an entire year, loving me no matter what I did wrong, and that was new for me, so new that I got scared so much that I started avoiding him, until I finally dumped him." Ashley replied sadly.

"Didn't you try and talk to him about this, about how you were feeling?"

Ashley couldn't look at Spencer's intense blue eyes anymore, she quickly tore her sad gaze away and stared down at her hands, "I was going to but it was too late."

Spencer noticed that tears had started to escape out of Ashley's beautiful brown eyes, so she reached forward and cupped Ashley's face, wiping her tears away with her thumbs.

"Why was it too late?"

"Because he'd moved on, he was with someone else."

"Who was he with?" Spencer asked as she kept gently wiping away Ashley's tears.

Ashley let her eyes meet Spencer's again, "Madison, the cheerbitch who attacked me at school."

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**Love it? Hate it? Feedback? **


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note**

I won't babble on for ages, just wanted to say thanks again to anyone who read this and gave me some feedback; they make me smile!

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 7 – Broken Inside.**

Spencer was really starting to enjoy living in LA, ok scratch that, she didn't like LA anywhere near as much as she did Ohio, but she did like a certain brunette who was part of the LA package.

"So what did you get up to yesterday Carlin? I tried ringing you but I didn't get an answer." Ashley asked as she sat down next to Spencer.

Spencer couldn't believe it had been an entire week since she had met Ashley and they'd had their 'confessions' night as they liked to call it. Since then they'd practically spent all of their time together except yesterday.

"Yeah sorry about that Ash, I forgot to tell you I wouldn't be in. Mom might not be able to make it home everyday to have dinner with us but she can always spare time to go to church on a Sunday." Spencer replied dryly.

Ash smiled at Spencer's response "Oooh! And let me guess that the secret not-so-religious daughter was feeling slightly resentful and bitter?"

"You could say that." Spencer laughed and stuck her tongue out at Ash. While Ashley responded by throwing a grape at her.

They went back to catching up about what they both did over the weekend when Spencer noticed that Ashley wasn't really paying attention to her.

"Why don't you just go over and talk to him?" Spencer asked as she followed Ashley's gaze.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well you should Ash; you haven't been able to keep your eyes off him all week." Spencer stated as Ashley's eyes darted back to her own, a look of anxiety on her face.

"I can't." her voice cracking with sadness.

"Sure you can Ash, and you obviously want to. Look he's on his own" Spencer kept her eyes locked on Ashley's while she waited for a reply.

Spencer couldn't help but notice the different emotions passing through Ashley's eyes, as if her head and heart were having an inner battle, struggling with an impossible decision.

Luckily for Ashley the bell rang to sound the inevitable end of their Monday lunch period. Spencer grabbed her bag as she stood up,

"Look I have to go, I've got a math test now but we'll talk about this later, okay?"

Ashley nodded "Good luck."

She watched as Spencer walked away getting lost in a crowd of students who were all rushing to their lessons. As she returned her gaze to Aiden she noticed this time that dark eyes were burning back into hers, an unsure smile tugging at his lips as he approached her.

"Hey"

It was one simple word, a word she'd used a million times before and yet as it brushed passed his lips it felt so intense. Ashley quickly swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat as she tried to reply.

"Hey"

"How are you Ash?"

"I'm okay, you?"

He smiled at her gently as he looked down at her, "I'm good thanks. Basketball's going great; I'm all set now I've been offered that scholarship. How are things going for you? I noticed you and Spencer have become friends, she's a nice girl."

Ashley could feel herself relax as Aiden chatted away and seated himself opposite her, his warm smile never failed to put her at ease.

"Things are fine, Spencer's great, I'm glad I've gotten to be friends with her. I'm happy for you about the basketball thing, you deserve it."

"I'm glad you have someone who can be there for you Ash," he replied as he reached out and covered her hand with his own, giving it a gentle squeeze before pulling away, "I'd better go, I'm already late, but it was good seeing you Ash, it's been awhile."

She watched him stand, the easiness leaving her body again, leaving her feeling awkward and out of place, "Yeah you too A."

"I'll see you around sometime," he paused to smile at her again, "Later Ash."

Ashley let a deep breathe escape her as she watched him walk away, wondering why she had ever let him go, and even if she hadn't, how she would have had to in the end.

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Ashley had decided that her final period, drama, just wasn't for her, she couldn't understand why anyone would want to create the stuff when life was already full of it. Instead she had decided to hang out it the girls changing room, it had a big mirror that Ashley had decided to use to fix her hair and patch up her make-up before heading off to see if she could get Spencer out of Spanish early.

Ashley had fixed her brown tresses by simply clipping her hair up and was applying her lip gloss when she saw the reflection of dark angry eyes staring at her, "What do you want Madison?" she asked without turning around to face the Latino.

"Listen Chica, I saw you talking to Aiden at lunch and I'm warning you to stay away from my man! Cos lets face it he's going places now and he doesn't need a pathetic leech like you holding onto him!"

At this Ashley turned around to face Madison who was smirking at her, "Look Cheerbitch we were just talking, and I don't know how long Barbie's memory lasts but I'm guessing it's not long since you don't remember that he was still with me when he got the scholarship. And I know I'm not going places but let's face it you aren't either!"

"Whatever bitch, at least I can give him what he needs." Madison announced as she took a step closer to Ashley.

"Madison I'm sure Aiden doesn't need to catch an STI."

"Well at least he gets sex from me, not all of us are frigid like you!"

"What the fuck are you talking about, me and Aiden slept together all the time!" Ashley exclaimed as she took a step towards Madison.

"Yeah except for like the last month you were together."

Ashley took a step back from Madison in shock, "How do you know that?"

"Because if you hadn't neglected his needs then he wouldn't have been sleeping with me while you were together." With this Madison closed the gap between them and Ashley quickly squeezed her eyes shut.

She was trying hard to stop the tears she could feel building up behind her eyelids from escaping, but when she reopened her eyes to find Madison smiling proudly at her she could do nothing but let tears trail a wet path down her cheeks.

"And that Chica, is why you should stay away from my man," Madison shoved Ashley's shoulder as she passed around her and stopped just to allow herself enough room to whisper into her ear, "because you never really had him to start with." And with that Madison left Ashley alone in the changing rooms, sunken to the floor, crying and broken inside.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note**

A big thanks again to anyone who had read this and left me some feedback!

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 8 - Learn You Inside Out.**

When the bell rang to signal the last day of term before summer break, Spencer couldn't have been happier, she grabbed her bag and headed out of the classroom. As she was heading towards the student car park, she noticed a large group of people surrounding the girls changing room.

"Hey what's going on?" Spencer asked a group of girls as she headed towards the mob, which all chose to ignore Spencer's question, as they continued chatting to each other and heading towards their cars.

When Spencer finally reached the mass of people she desperately searched for somebody who looked familiar to find out what was going on. She finally spotted a guy from her math's class and lightly grabbed his arm, "Hey Dan what's going on in there?"

"Apparently there was some kind of fight between Madison Duarte and Ashley Davies, and now Ashley has locked herself in one of the cubicles and won't come out. We all think Madison must have roughed her up bad this time!"

_Shit! I hope Ash is ok, I have to see her, _Spencer was frantically pushing her way through the crowd to reach her destination, to reach Ashley. Unfortunately when she finally made her way to the entrance she was halted by a large woman.

"Where do you think you're going?" Mrs. Corday asked gruffly.

"Look, the girl in there, Ashley Davies, is my best friend, you have to let me in there." Spencer hurriedly explained.

"Listen Miss Carlin we have this situation under control, we do not need another student causing havoc!"

Spencer hadn't seen the headmistress Mrs. Corday before, except the time she had welcomed the Carlin kids to the school when they first arrived and even then she was rude and abrupt, a trait in people that drove Spencer insane.

"Look Mrs. Corday, Ashley will want to see me," Spencer tried explaining again but to no effect, Mrs. Corday's cold eyes stayed steadily on hers without a glimmer of emotion, "Just give me ten minutes in there with her and I'll take her home," still no response, "Listen if you just give me ten minutes then you can get your school back in order, get home yourself and relax."

Spencer wasn't sure how she did it but she was pretty sure it was the word 'order' that finally caused a response, after all no head teacher wanted to be in charge of running a chaotic school.

"Fine Miss Carlin but make it quick!" she snapped in response as she stepped aside to allow Spencer to pass.

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Spencer looked around the purple colored changing room; four sets of lockers lined the left side of the room, with a couple of long benches placed neatly in front of them. At the back of the room there was a long wall mirror with a counter below containing two sinks and to the right of the room there were twelve cubicles.

"Ash?" Spencer called out as she heard sobbing from one of the cubicles, "Ash? It's me, it's Spencer." There was no response but Spencer could hear the sobbing more clearly now as she headed closer towards the cubicles.

As she followed the noise of the sobbing and a gentle sniffing, she bent down onto her hands and knees to try and locate which one contained Ashley. She stopped when she found a pair of black boots and stood up.

"Ash please open up," Spencer encouraged as she lightly drummed her knuckles against the door, "Go away Spencer I'm fine, I just need to be alone." Came the muffled reply.

"Ash I'm not going anywhere until you come out, I'll wait here all night if I have too," Spencer paused to see if there would be any response and when none came she continued, "Plus a knight never leaves her damsel in distress Ash, now open the door so I can rescue you."

After a few seconds of silence Spencer heard the lock turn and the door slowly opened, revealing a tear stained, puffy eyed Ashley, "Aw Ash come here," Spencer whispered while pulling Ashley into a tight hug, letting Ashley's head rest on her shoulder while she gently ran her fingers through her hair.

Spencer pulled back to look at Ashley, tenderly cupping her face, while wiping her tears away with her thumbs, "What happened Ash?"

Ashley could feel her eyes burning again; she couldn't push back the feeling of nausea in her stomach as Spencer waited patiently for her answer, "Madison," Ashley replied pulling away from Spencer, "She erm, she told me that I should stay away from Aiden."

Spencer looked shocked, "But you haven't been anywhere near him!"

Ashley shook her head, "After you left at lunch today he caught me looking and so he came over."

"What did he say?"

Ashley walked over to the benches and sat down as she ran her hands through her hair, "Not much, just asked how I was, he seemed glad that we'd become friends, then he just…left."

"And Madison saw this happen?" Spencer asked as she joined Ashley on the bench.

"I can't remember her being there, I didn't see her," Ashley turned to Spencer, "Then I came in here, she must have followed me in here, because the next thing I know she's telling me to stay away from A and then she…" Spencer could see the tears escaping from Ashley's eyes as her voice broke.

"Please don't cry Ash," Spencer tried to pull Ashley into an embrace but Ashley pulled away and stood to her feet, her back towards Spencer.

After a second Ashley composed herself and turned back around to face Spencer, "She told me that she had been sleeping with Aiden during the last month we were together…"

Spencer swiftly stood up and embraced Ashley, holding her tightly, while she let Ashley cry onto her shoulder, while she repeated "Ash I'm so sorry" over and over.

"It's all my fault," Ashley choked out while she clung onto Spencer. Spencer letting her hand lightly rub up and down her back.

"Don't be so silly, you did not make him cheat on you Ash!"

"I did…I stopped letting him touch me and kiss me….I stopped having sex with him."

Spencer pulled back slightly as she felt Ashley's hold on her loosen, "Just because you stop sleeping with someone Ash, doesn't mean they can go and sleep with somebody else, that's not what love is about."

"But I was distant, I was so scared, and then I lost him, just like I knew I would if I pulled away, but I couldn't help it Spence," Ashley paused to steady her voice, "I thought he'd fight for me, but he didn't, but I still thought he loved me even though he was with Madison. But now I realize he never did, I mean he was telling me he loved me and sleeping with her."

"Ash this is still not your fault, everyone gets scared in relationships when they really love someone, it's that feeling of knowing that you can't breathe without them, knowing that you don't want to breathe if that means you can't be with them. But that doesn't give Aiden the right to abandon you." Spencer made sure she kept her eyes focused on Ashley's while she answered.

"Well I might have felt scared then, while I thought he still loved me, but now I'm more than scared Spence, I'm absolutely terrified because I just realized that I am completely alone in this."

"Ash you're not alone, I'm here for you, you'll always have me, your knight in shining armor, I'll always protect you," Spencer smiled at Ashley warmly as she reached out to grab hold of her hand, "I'll always rescue you."

Spencer kept her eyes locked with Ashley's beautiful browns, "I'm glad you're my knight Spence, I'm just not sure you can rescue me now."

"Of course I can, if you just let me, let me in Ash."

Ashley took a deep intake of breath, as tears began running down her cheeks, "Well then my knight, can you rescue me now because I'm three months pregnant and I don't know if you're strong enough to pull me up this time."

Spencer gently tugged Ashley's hand pulling her back into her embrace, soothingly pressing a kiss to Ashley's forehead, and her response came without thought, "I'll rescue you now and forever."

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R&R?


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note**

Haven't said this for awhile, but I want to thank my annoying best friend/beta **KickMyself** for going over this; I'm pretty sure you must be sick of it! And to everyone else, thank you so much for the feedback, if I could give cookies and hugs I seriously would!

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 9 – Precious Illusions.**

_She really is beautiful. I don't think anyone could deny that she is. She could choose to be with anyone she wanted, and yet somehow she picked me. Here I am months later, holding the tiniest pair of shoes I've ever seen as I walk back into our house and head up the stairs._

_She's carefully cradling our gorgeous baby girl who has sleepy eyes and delicious chocolate hair just like her mother, a sight which hasn't stopped melting my heart over the last few days, while she quietly hums as she gently rocks our angel to sleep, eventually placing her into her cot._

_She hasn't noticed my presence yet, hasn't even looked up. I can tell what she's thinking; she's still overwhelmed that she gave life to something that small, that amazing. I carefully cross the room, not wanting to break the trance she's in, and tenderly wrap my arms around her waist, feeling her sigh contently at my welcomed company as I lower my head to place a lingering kiss on her shoulder._

"_I didn't realize I could love her this much." She still hasn't taken her eyes off of our daughter._

"_I feel the same way about you," I whisper into her ear as I nuzzle her neck. Finally feeling her shifting in my arms, her eyes no longer admiring our girl; instead they're looking into mine intensely as a small smile forms on her lips._

_She's leaning in now, her lips are brushing against mine; they feel so soft against my own as she cushions my bottom lip between her own. It's a kiss full of love, it's slow and gentle, we're taking our time, just feeling each others lips. _

_She pulls back so that our foreheads are resting together, our lips barely apart, our breaths colliding._

"_I've never loved anyone the way I love you." She whispers, not because she wants to keep it a secret, not because she's ashamed, but because she wants the words to be just for me, keeping our love sacred, keeping it protected in our hearts alone._

_I know I can't hold back any longer, as I lean forward and capture her mouth again, this time letting my tongue stroke her bottom lip. I'm expecting her to pull back, but she doesn't, she grants me access, letting our tongues come together, kissing languidly._

_I let my hand slide up her shoulder, gently pushing down the strap of her top, allowing my hand to make contact with her bare skin, while my lips softly travel a path along her jaw line and down her neck as her delicate hands pass through my hair. She's holding her eyes closed tightly as I let my other hand slowly glide up and down her thigh; my name escaping her perfect lips._

Spencer shot upright as she woke panicked; it was that same dream again. The one she'd been having every night since she had discovered Ashley's pregnancy. The one that caused beads of sweat to form on her brow, the one that made her heart clench in guilt.

Spencer wasn't sure what had caused the dreams, or what had caused the sudden rush of intense feelings for Ashley and it was driving her insane. It felt like Ashley had been all she could think about for the past week; her eyes, her smile, her laugh.

Spencer tightly squeezed her eyes closed as her hands covered her face, staying there for a few seconds before they moved on to run through her hair, a deep breath escaping her lips.

She flipped off her bed covers and headed over to her desk, picking up the hoodie that rested on the chair, the one she had let Ashley borrow the other day when she was cold, the one that now smelt of her heavenly perfume, the one that Spencer couldn't stop breathing in. Spencer cuddled the hoodie to her chest while she checked her phone; a message from Ashley appeared on the screen, simple and sweet; 'where art thou Romeo? Your Juliet desires nothing more than to see thou today 3' Spencer couldn't stop the smile she felt forming on her lips, it was the little things like this that pushed Spencer closer and closer to falling.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Spencer let herself into Ashley's house, her mother was never there and Ashley had practically given Spencer a key to come and go as she pleased. When Spencer finally reached Ashley's room, after climbing what seemed like a million steps, she found Ashley lying on her bed stretched out on her side watching some old TV show.

"Should have known I'd find you working hard on that English essay that I know you have." Spencer said smiling as she laid down on the bed next to Ashley.

Ashley laughed and rolled over to face Spencer, "I've missed you this weekend Spence," a huge smile forming on her lips.

"I missed you too. I'm sorry I couldn't even call you, mom was acting really weird, she kept talking about how we should be spending more family time together because we don't know when it might just stop," Spencer said as her brow furrowed in confusion.

"I'll let you off this one time, I'm just really glad you're here now."

"Oh yeah, and why's that?" Spencer asked as she gently nudged Ashley, "Is it because you miss my good looks and interesting personality?"

Ashley let out a little laugh, "Not quite stud. I do miss your goofiness though."

Spencer frowned, "My goofiness; that's all?"

"Yep that's all," Ashley smiled as she played along, watching Spencer frown again before pouting, "Well your goofiness and your hugs I suppose," Ashley watched as Spencer broke out into a big grin, "Well are you going to give me a damn hug or not then? Because since you've been here you haven't done anything to impress Juliet, You'd suck as Romeo you know."

Spencer shuffled forward as she opened her arms to allow Ashley enough room to snuggle in, giving her a gentle squeeze before pulling back, "I don't really suck as Romeo do I?" Spencer asked seriously.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Ash? Can I ask you something?" Spencer asked as they sat side by side with their feet in the Davies' pool.

"Of course you can, you can ask me anything you want Spence."

Spencer turned her head to look at Ashley, "I know I've left it a bit long but I've been hoping you'd bring it up, and well you haven't and I just wanted to know…"

"What I'm planning on doing with the baby?" Ashley finished, keeping her eyes fixed ahead of her.

"Yeah," Spencer reached out to grab Ashley's hand which was resting in her lap, gently entwining their fingers.

Ashley looked down at their entwined fingers and then back up to Spencer's eyes, "I'm going to keep it, I couldn't get rid of it, it's part of me now, no matter what."

"Are you going to tell Aiden?"

"No…I can't"

"Of course you can Ash," Spencer said giving her hand a squeeze.

"No I really can't. Just before I found out I was pregnant Aiden got offered a basketball scholarship, it's all he has ever wanted, so I never said anything, I was too afraid at the time."

"Yeah but Ash, he might want to be part of your child's life," Spencer said trying to be reasoning.

"Yeah I'm sure he will," Ash said dryly, "Because he was always so loving and there for me in our relationship. Oh no wait, he wasn't! Instead he screwed that gremlin Madison!"

"Okay fair point," Spencer replied, "Wait a minute did you just call Madison a gremlin?"

Ashley smiled again, "Yeah I did. Well she reminds me of the girl gremlin from those films, you know the ones," Spencer nodded, "The girl gremlin tries to kiss everyone and gets really scarily attached to this guy."

"That still doesn't make much sense." Spencer laughed.

"I know but it was on TV last night and she just reminded me of her for some reason," Ashley paused for a minute as she looked up at the sun before returning her gaze to Spencer, "What's up with your mom at the moment then?"

"I have no idea, since we've moved here I've only seen her a handful of times, mostly for church and then when I do she acts weird around my dad."

"You think she's stressed at work?"

"I guess so, I mean she works really late, and even when she is home her pager goes off, so she spends a lot of time on the phone," Spencer shrugged, "To be honest I haven't really had many conversations with her since we've been in LA."

"Spence is your mom like major religious? Like are you ever going to tell her that you're gay?" Ashley asked softly.

"I don't think I'm ready for that on any level, and to be honest it's something I try not to think about too often."

"How come?"

"Me being gay is something my mom won't agree on in a million years, and it hurts to think that if she did really know who I was that she'd probably stop loving me, that she'd probably disown me," Spencer answered, tearing her gaze away from Ashley's and removing her hand from her grip.

"Spence if your mom really loves you then she won't care whether you're gay or not, she'll just be glad that you're you and that you're happy," Ashley reached out to cup Spencer's face, bringing it back so that they're eyes met, before she leant forward to brush her lips to Spencer's forehead, "I'm glad I get to see the real Spencer, because she's beautiful," She whispered as she pulled back to see her eyes.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

They spent the rest of the afternoon snuggled up on the sofa watching movies and eating popcorn; stopping often to make some joke about the actors in the film and their bad acting.

"Ash I know this is going to sound like I'm interfering but I really think you should tell Aiden about the baby."

"God are we still on that?" Ashley asked pretending to be annoyed.

"Yeah we're still on it Ash, I mean it's not just a decision you skim over, it kind of takes a lot of thought."

"I know it's serious Spence, I just don't want to think about it because it sucks big time, and me and Aiden aren't together anymore he's with Madison, I can't just pop up and announce that I'm three and a half months pregnant, I mean a blow like that deserves some kind of warning."

"Okay so you and Aiden aren't together anymore, so why don't you try telling your friend Aiden and not your ex-boyfriend Aiden, because correct me if I'm wrong or not but you two were good friends at one point."

"I wish it was that easy Spence I really do. I think that's part of why it's so hard, Aiden was my best friend as well as my boyfriend and he told me he loved me and it's really fucking painful to know that he didn't. But if I promise to think about telling Aiden will you back off?" Ash replied with a slight smile.

"Okay I'll back off. But just so you know Ash, I think Aiden's a fool not to be in love with you, I mean you're amazing and so gorgeous." Spencer winked and Ashley laughed.

"I don't know, I mean I'm really not easy to be with, maybe I'm impossible to love." Ashley said as she got to her feet.

"Love wouldn't be love if it wasn't hard, that's what makes it so worth while in the end. And you're totally not impossible to love Ash." Spencer smiled and blushed slightly.

"You love me! I knew it Carlin! You're right I am a hottie," Ashley stopped to move her arm up and down as if to show off her body, " I mean how could you not fall for me" Ashley replied laughing as she left the room.

"I have no idea; I'm trying really hard not to..." Spencer breathed out quietly.

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**P.S. I actually like Madison in the episodes; so please don't flame me her being a bitch in this story, or for Ashley's comments to her!**

**Liked it? Hated it? Don't care enough to tell me? **


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note**

Thanks to my Beta and to everyone reading this, i love you all!

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 10 – Same Mistake.**

Ashley thought that the person who created the mp3 player must have been a genius. Music was a huge part of her life; she swore it was imprinted into her skin before she was born, not surprising with a rock star as her father. No matter what was happening in her life music was able to take her into a place of peace, the music providing her with comfort, disconnecting her from all the emotions of the real world.

"I feel you in my heart and I don't even know you" Ashley sang loudly as she twirled around the kitchen, tidying up at the same time; wearing a pair of her favorite sweat pants and a tank top that revealed her small bump.

Ashley was too caught up in the music to notice the arrival of her mother, "Ashley what the hell are you doing?!"

Having not heard her mother Ashley continued to drum her hands to the beat of the music against the kitchen counter. Spinning around one last time before she ended up face to face with her mother, she quickly pulled her earphones out of her ears, "Mom what are you doing here? I thought you were in Australia until next Monday?"

"Don't look so surprised to see me Ashley, I do live her, I can come and go as I choose."

"Of course, I was just erm, surprised to see you back this soon; I mean you love your trips to Australia." Ashley was stumbling over her words as she tried to finish her sentence as soon as possible, very aware of what she was wearing; quickly covering her stomach with her arms.

Her mom hadn't failed to notice Ashley's quick movement, as she dropped her eyes to her daughter's stomach, "Oh Ashley please tell me that that isn't what I think it is!? Please tell me you've just gained some weight!"

"Erm well I have gained some weight, but yeah I am, erm pregnant," Ashley mumbled struggling for words, "I guess a congratulations is order huh Grandma?" Ashley accidentally joked, immediately regretting the words as her mother's eyes flashed with anger.

"Congratulations Grandma?! You've got to be kidding me! Please tell me it's not too late to get that thing aborted." Her mother spat coldly.

Ashley took a step back at her mother's harsh words. She knew her mother was never going to be pleased, but then her mother was never pleased with anything she did, but Ashley wasn't quite expecting those hurtful words.

Finding her voice again Ashley took two steps towards her mother, "It doesn't matter whether or not if it's too late to get my baby aborted because I'm keeping it. I could never abort my child."

Her mother spitefully moved passed Ashley, making sure she roughly caught Ashley's shoulder with her own, "Who's the father? God knows how many men you've brought back here!"

"It's Aiden mom! He's the only guy I've ever slept with!" Ashley shouted.

Christine looked horrified at the mention of Aiden's name, "Aiden's baby? Please tell me you haven't told him?"

"I haven't told him yet, but I am going to tell him, he has a right to know, this is our baby." Ashley replied turning around to face her mother.

"Don't tell him Ashley! That boy is wonderful, he has a future in basketball, and he doesn't need you to ruin his life with your mistake!"

"My mistake?! You think I did this on purpose?!" Ashley was practically shouting now, "What do you think I just decided to get pregnant one day, and then invited Aiden over to do his part! This isn't a mistake I made on my own mother!"

"This is a mistake that could be corrected! A mistake that shouldn't ruin a bright boy's life because his slutty girlfriend forgot her birth control pills! Are you out for revenge because you two are over? Are you trying to cause him pain?"

"I am not a slut! How dare you! This is not revenge mother, this is a mistake that ended by creating life, and now that life deserves to be loved by two parents, even if they're not together!"

"That's what I'm trying to get through to you Ashley, Aiden won't want to be a parent at 18!! Your choice to keep this baby makes this mistake something you have to live with on your own!"

"Well if that's true, if he doesn't want to know, at least he had the chance to! I'll love this baby all on my own; I'll give it everything I can!"

At this her mother burst into a hideous cackle, "Ashley sweetheart, what are you ever going to be able to offer a child?! You have no future, no support; you'll do nothing but ruin that child's life!"

Ashley felt stuck, her feet were rooted to the floor, her mouth had closed up, and the courage she had been using had suddenly upped and left her; there was nothing she could do.

"Use some common sense Ashley, don't have a child that you won't love, don't make the same mistake I did." And with that her mother left the house, driving off down the road without looking back, leaving Ashley destroyed just like she had so many times before.

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Ashley wasn't sure how long she stood there after her mother left; she wasn't sure after how much time she let her body sink to the floor; she wasn't sure how long she stayed crying into her hands; the only thing she was sure of was, that right now she needed Spencer.

Ashley didn't bother going up to her room to change before she snatched up her car keys and headed towards the Carlin's house, thankful that Mr. & Mrs. C would be away for the weekend visiting Paula's sick mother in Ohio.

When Ashley got to Spencer's door she froze, unsure whether to knock, she wanted to so badly, she really needed Spencer, but it was 3.43am and she was pretty sure that Spencer would be fast asleep; completely unaware that Ashley's world was crumbling down around her. She lifted her hand to knock once more before deciding against it, heading back towards her car.

"Ash?" Ashley turned back around to see Spencer standing with her front door open, a concerned look on her face.

"How did you know I was here? I didn't even knock."

"Ash just get in here its freezing!" Spencer quietly yelled.

"Nah I'm fine Spencer, this was a bad idea, I shouldn't have come here at this time."

Spencer quickly ran over the dew covered grass, reaching Ashley and tugging her hand, pulling her back into the house.

"Don't be so stupid Ash; you can always come to me, anytime, anywhere." Spencer said as she closed and locked up the front door, "And I knew you were here because I heard your car."

When Spencer turned around she was shocked at the puffiness of Ashley's eyes, the pain evident across her face, and the lack of clothes she was wearing, things she hadn't seen in the darkness, "Oh my god Ash are you ok? What happened?"

Ashley had started to cry again, the tears were spilling down her face like mini waterfalls, and she was shivering. Spencer didn't ask Ashley again, she simply took her hand and led her to her room, sat Ashley on the end of her bed and grabbed the hoodie off the back of the chair.

Ashley couldn't stop crying, her mouth felt like it had closed up again, and she was completely frozen, unsure of how to explain anything. Leaving Spencer to do nothing but whisper "Shhh" over and over again, while she bent down in front of her and carefully pushed Ashley's arms through the hoodie, like she was dressing a child before zipping it up and rubbing her arms up and down Ashley's arms to try and stop the shivering.

"My…mom…kno…knows…about…th…the baby…and…she said…I'd ru...ruin…Aiden's...life…if…he…knew…and…that…I'd…ru…ruin…the baby's…life…if…I…kept…it...," Ashley managed to get out as she sobbed, "She…said…I…was…a...slut…and…that…she…doesn't…love…me…that…I…don't…hav…have…anyone."

Spencer couldn't bear to see Ashley in this much pain. She didn't understand how a mother could say that she practically hated her own child; how she could tell her daughter that she was on her own, when all she had ever needed is her parent's love and approval.

Spencer stood up and brushed the hair strewn across Ashley's damp forehead out of her face and tucked it neatly behind her ears before lightly taking Ashley's face in her hands, gently caressing the never ending tears off her cheeks, "I'm here for you baby," Spencer whispered as she brushed a kiss onto Ashley's left cheek, trying to stop the tears with her lips, "I'm right here," Spencer repeated again as she placed a kiss on Ashley's other cheek and then moved up to kiss her eyes, in hope that she could kiss away Ashley's pain, "I'm not going anywhere, I promise," she repeated while kissing her way back down Ashley's cheeks; kissing each tear that escaped her beautiful eyes, moving eventually down to the corner's of her mouth, "I'll be here forever," Spencer promised as she rested her forehead against Ashley's, still using her thumbs to tend to the last few escaping tears.

With their foreheads still resting against each other, Ashley lowered her mouth, gently brushing her lips against Spencer's before closing her eyes and whispering, "Hold me Spence."

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**Good? Bad? Average? **


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note**

Thanks for reading it and leaving me feedback everyone! JLo I think it's only fair that I dedicate this one to you! So here it is….

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 11 – Somewhere In Between.**

It was the bright light that had managed to escape through a gap in the curtains that began to wake Spencer's sleeping form. Opening her eyes briefly only to immediately shut them again; the morning light burning her eyes. Her face was buried in Ashley's shoulder, her lips pressed lightly against her skin.

After Ashley had asked Spencer to hold her, Spencer had gotten to her feet, taking Ashley's hands in her own as she gently led her to the side of her bed, laying her down before hurrying over to the other side to climb behind her; Ashley lifting her head slightly to allow Spencer's arm behind it, wrapping her other arm around her waist, letting her fingers lightly run over her bump. While she nuzzled her face into the crook of Ashley's neck, lightly kissing her; allowing Ashley to contently sigh and entwine their fingers.

Spencer opened her eyes once again, the light still stinging her newly awakened eyes. She could hear Ashley breathing in light even puffs, their hands still linked, resting carefully on her stomach. Spencer yawned quietly, trying her best to not wake Ashley; the arm that Ashley's head was resting on had gone completely numb during the night and was beginning to ache causing Spencer to gradually try and free her arm, moving it only slightly before she felt Ashley push back into her more, "Hmm…where you going?" she mumbled sleepily.

"My arm's numb, I was trying to move it without waking you up before it fell off," Spencer whispered back.

Spencer felt Ashley lift her head, allowing her to move her arm back, a sudden rush of blood causing pins and needles. Ashley then proceeded to roll over, her back no longer pressed against Spencer's chest, instead now brown eyes were able to meet blue, "Don't get up yet," Ashley pleaded, reaching out for Spencer.

"I won't, I'm too comfy," she felt Ashley's hand reach her face, sweeping away a few strands of hair, able to see Spencer's eyes more clearly, "How are you feeling now?"

Ashley couldn't help but let her eyes close, "Last night sucked," they opened again, a smile joining her refreshed features, "I feel better now that I'm here with you. Thanks for everything Spencer."

Spencer smiled, "I told you I'd keep you safe," she frowned a little, "I'm just sorry I couldn't rescue you before your mother caused you pain."

"You've rescued me so many times now that I'm starting to feel helpless. I just wish I knew whether my bitch of a mother went back to our house, I don't think I can face her again yet, I don't have the strength."

"You can stay here for the week, mom rang me last night, her and dad are going to stay longer in Ohio, my Grandma's really sick so they want to be there."

"Are you sure? What about Glen and Clay? Won't they mind?"

Spencer laughed a little, "I haven't really seen Glen, he's got some girlfriend and practically lives around her house and Clay went to the airport last night, he wanted to go and be with Grandma. So it'd just be the two of us."

Ashley smiled as she moved in to snuggle against Spencer, "That's good then, I'd love to stay with you for the week."

Spencer couldn't help but wrap her arms around Ashley, running her hand up and down her back, "I'm glad you're going to stay Ash," she let her eyes close again and breathed Ashley in, trying to savor that precious moment, a moment where she got to hold her without having to dream.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

When they had finally gotten out of bed a couple of hours later Spencer had let Ashley borrow some of her clothes after she had showered; the baggy hoodie just concealing her small bump as she reached up to grab the cereal from the top of the fridge, not quite being able to reach.

"Here let me get it for you," Spencer replied standing closely behind Ashley, her chest lightly brushing her back as she stretched her arm out and grabbed the box of cereal. Spencer swore she heard Ashley's breath sharpen for a minute, but she took the cereal from Spencer and poured herself a bowl, "Thanks Spence," she replied normally as a smile graced her lips.

Spencer sat down opposite Ashley on the breakfast bar, pouring herself a bowl of cereal, enjoying the comfortable silence between them. Afterwards Spencer sent Ashley to go and put her feet up while she washed up.

"Hey Spence?" Ashley called through to the kitchen.

Spencer quickly appeared in the doorway, "What's up?"

"I've got an appointment on Thursday at 2.30pm," she paused leaving Spencer confused before she smiled and continued, "It's my first ultrasound, and I was wondering whether you'd come with me?"

"You really want me there? I mean are you sure this isn't something you want to keep to yourself."

"Yes I'm sure," Ashley reassured as she stood up and smiled, "There's nobody else in the world that I'd rather share this with," and with that she walked over to Spencer and placed a kiss on her cheek; heading into the kitchen to dry the bowls, leaving Spencer with a massive smile on her face.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

When they arrived at 2.30pm on Thursday for Ashley's appointment, the nice receptionist with a warm smile had informed them that the doctor was slightly behind schedule, and asked them to sit in the waiting room until they were called. This delay only added to Ashley's anxiousness. As soon as the clock had reached 1.00pm Ashley had become restless, a mix of nervousness and excitement, leaving Spencer unable to settle her.

Now she was sitting in some generic looking waiting room, squeezing Spencer's hand, "Ash you're doing it again," Spencer winced.

Ashley quickly released the tightness of her grip on Spencer's hand, which had started to turn white due to the lack of blood circulation, "Sorry Spence, again. I'm just so nervous, I mean what if there's something wrong with the baby."

"Ash don't be so worried, I'm sure the baby's fine, you've been eating right and taking care of yourself."

"You mean you've been taking care of me," Ashley smiled turning to look into Spencer's eyes. Spencer nodded her head and smiled, letting herself get lost in Ashley's gorgeous brown eyes.

"Miss Davies, Dr Jennifer is ready to see you now." The announcement came unexpected across the loudspeaker, forcing the girls to tear they're gazes away from each other.

When they reached the room they were greeted by a friendly looking doctor in her early thirties, her dark hair was clipped back and her glasses rested nicely on her nose, "Hey there, you must be Ashley, I'm Doctor Jennifer," she said as she reached out to shake Ashley's hand.

"Nice to meet you," she turned to Spencer, "And this is my friend Spencer, she's come with me for support, is that ok?"

Doctor Jennifer smiled at both girls, "Of course it is, now come in and make yourselves comfortable, I'm just going to get your file and then I'll be right with you, sorry about the delay."

When she left the room Ashley seated her self up upon the bed, as Spencer sat down in the chair next to her, while she looked around at all the different machines, equipment, and certificates in the room.

"Hey look her name is Dr. J. Jennifer," Spencer said pointing to one of the certificates, "You reckon Jennifer's her first name too?"

Ashley let a laugh escape her lips, "No you goof! I really don't think her parents would have named her Jennifer Jennifer, that would be just cruel."

Spencer laughed too at her own goofiness before Dr. Jennifer returned, both girls sneaking secret smiles to each other as they tried not to laugh again.

The doctor pulled over the ultrasound machine, "Right Ashley if I could just ask you to lift your top up for me, I'm then going to add some gel and then we're take a look to make sure everything's healthy and well."

Ashley lifted her shirt up revealing her small bump, blushing as she caught Spencer's eye. Spencer was stunned at the site of her rounded belly; of course she had seen her bump a few times, but it was always covered up by some baggy jumper. But this time when she saw it she couldn't help but notice how beautiful Ashley was. Spencer reached out to place her hand on top of Ashley's giving it a gentle squeeze.

"It will just take a couple of seconds before we see the baby," Dr Jennifer said as she continued to move the device around Ashley's stomach until a black and white picture appeared on the screen.

"Okay, so here's the head, down there low in your pelvis," she announced as she lifted her finger to point at the screen, "and there," she pointed to a different spot, "is the baby's heartbeat. Which we can listen to, here you go." She pushed a few buttons and then suddenly there it was, this beating noise, drumming in a constant rhythm, "That sounds great, just like it's suppose to be, 45 beats per minute." At this Ashley's eyes filled with tears; Spencer was squeezing her hand and they were both smiling.

Dr Jennifer pointed to the screen again, "And there's one leg, right there, and that's the other one, there. Now I'm just going to get a better view so I can take some of your baby's measurements; it looks like it's a good size. Would you like to know the sex of your baby?"

Ashley looked at Spencer, "Don't look at me Ash it's your baby, do you want to know whether you're going to have a daughter or a son?"

Ashley thought for a moment before turning back to the screen, "No I don't want to know the sex because I'm going to love this baby no matter what."

Dr Jennifer smiled, "I'll give you two a few minutes alone and then when I come back we'll get you some pictures."

"Thank you." Ashley replied reluctantly taking her eyes off of the screen to smile at her.

"Wow Ash can you believe that at 16 weeks the baby already has little arms and legs." Spencer said as soon as the doctor had left.

Ashley let a few tears escape her eyes as she stared intensely at the screen, enjoying watching her baby's every heart beat, "I can't believe that a baby is inside me, that that baby is inside me right now," she smiled at Spencer, "It's amazing."

"Yeah it is amazing Ash, You're amazing."

"Thank you for coming with me today, I'm not sure I could have done this without you, I mean I put it off this long already."

"You shouldn't be thanking me; I should be thanking you for letting me come. It meant a lot that you wanted me here." Spencer said entwining their fingers.

"I wouldn't want it any other way Spence."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

By the time they had gotten home the sky had clouded over and the heavens had opened up, delivering a heavy down pour of rain. As soon as they got in, Ashley had kicked her shoes off and rushed to sit on the sofa so that she could admire her ultrasound pictures some more while Spencer made them both a drink.

Sinking down onto the sofa next to Ashley, Spencer sighed smiling, looking at the photograph Ashley was holding, "Can't take your eyes off your precious baby huh?"

"I know, it's just before today me having the baby didn't seem so real, and now, I get to look at this, and see its head, its body, its little arms and legs," She hadn't taken her eyes off of the picture yet, "its heart; which right now is beating inside of me."

"It definitely was amazing."

Ashley leant forward to place the picture on the coffee table, "Yeah it was all amazing except the part where you got to see my big'ol baby bump," She said seriously as she settled back against the sofa, her eyes avoiding Spencer's.

"You've got to be kidding me right?"

"No I'm not, it was embarrassing; I saw the look on your face, you looked shocked, like I was a fat, hideous monster."

Spencer shuffled forward so she was perched on the edge of the sofa, enough to allow her a full view of Ashley, "Ash, trust me there is nothing hideous about a pregnant woman," She paused, tilting her head so that she could search for Ashley's eyes, "especially you, you looked stunning," she finished smiling brightly as she caught Ashley's eyes.

"Yeah?" Ashley whispered back, biting her bottom lip.

"Yeah," Spencer reassured as she lifted her hands to hover Ashley's stomach, "Can I?"

Ashley bit her bottom lip again, as she nodded nervously. Letting Spencer's hands find the hem of her t-shirt, lifting it enough to reveal her bump. Spencer tenderly let her fingertips run over Ashley's pregnant belly, tracing small patterns, making sure not to miss a single spot, "I don't think you know just how beautiful you really are Ash, I wish you could see yourself through my eyes," Spencer whispered as she looked genuinely into Ashley's eyes, before leaning down to brush a kiss against her skin, letting her lips linger for a few second before dragging her lips up slightly to place another kiss.

Spencer heard Ashley gasp as she moved her mouth to place the second kiss on her rounded belly. Spencer felt Ashley's hands cup her face, bringing her back to look intensely into her brown eyes; she shifted her eyes down to Spencer's mouth, biting her bottom lip as they returned to her eyes. Ashley's teeth released her lower lip as she edged closer to Spencer's mouth, closing her eyes as she lightly pressed her lips to Spencer's, holding them still; pulling back just for a split second before Spencer's lips were back on hers, this time their lips gently moved against each other. Ashley felt Spencer softly run the tip of her tongue across her bottom lip, before she gently nibbled it; at this Ashley parted her own lips, allowing her tongue to brush Spencer's; she shivered as Spencer's tongue passed through her lips beginning to explore her mouth, Ashley soon responded by moving her own tongue, allowing them to create a fluid rhythm as she tangled her hands in Spencer's hair, letting herself get completely lost in the kiss.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Spencer never knew that quiet had a noise, it pulsed through the air, moving like a slow, thick fog, as it surrounded you gradually, until it built up into a drumming that beats through your body with such intensity, that you'll do anything just to escape it.

Neither of them were saying anything, yet they couldn't tear their eyes from each other, Spencer could feel herself breathing hard from the kiss while Ashley did the same, the only difference between them was the look of utter shock on Ashley's face, Spencer wanted so badly to say something, to reach out and reassure, but she couldn't move and Ashley didn't give her the chance too, one minute she was sitting down and the next thing she was on her feet slowly backing out of the room towards the door with her hand resting on her forehead.

She turned suddenly while muttering "Oh god," over and over to herself and pulled opened the door, she didn't look back at Spencer once before she took off. Spencer was glued to the spot, she couldn't breathe, couldn't move. One minute they'd been kissing deeply and the next they were just staring at each other. '_Fuck, oh god Ash_!" Spencer didn't waste anymore time, she was out the door and running down the street after Ashley as fast as she could, the heavy rain drenching her in seconds.

Spencer could see Ashley running just ahead of her and sprinted to catch up with her, "Ash Wait!" Ashley slowed and turned to see Spencer on her tail, "Leave me alone Spencer."

Ashley wasn't running anymore but she wasn't going to stop trying to keep distance between herself and Spencer, "Ash wait! Please stop," Spencer pleaded as she managed to grab hold of Ashley's wrist and pull her gently enough to get her to stop walking. "Get off me!" Ashley yelled as turned to face Spencer as she jerked her arm free of Spencer's grasp.

Spencer quickly reached out and wrapped Ashley's upper arms in her grip, Ashley tried to pull back but this time Spencer tightened her grip slightly and didn't let her go. Immediately Ashley let her eyes drop to the floor, "Ash look at me," Spencer pleased again; Ashley didn't move at all, she just stood there, the rain gently hammering against her as Spencer held her in place, "Ash please look at me."

Her voice was so weak and vulnerable in that minute that Ashley let her eyes be brought back to meet deep blue pools, "I can't do this Spence," she breathed. Even though it was raining Spencer could still see the tears escaping from Ashley's eyes.

"You can, I know you can." Spencer willed.

"I can't do this, please let me go" Ashley repeated again, her voice quieter.

"Do you remember the first time we properly hung out together Ash?"

Ashley closed her eyes shut, but Spencer kept talking "I remember it so well because you were the first person that I'd trusted in such a long time Ash," Spencer waited until she looked up at her again and smiled slightly, "You understood everything about me without judgment or question. Do you remember what you said to me Ash?"

Ashley was crying harder, her tears mixing with the rain, strands of her hair plastered against her damp skin, her soaked clothes clenching to her body, "You said that you'd hate to live your life as a lie Ash," Spencer let one of her hands tuck a piece of the stranded hair on Ashley's face behind her ear before bringing her hand back to gently cup her cheek, their eyes locking intensely. "You can do this," Spencer repeated, "I know you feel it too," and with that Ashley lifted her own hand and placed it on top of the hand Spencer had cupping her face, she let her thumb gently rub over Spencer's soft, cold skin.

"I can't do this Spence," she gently lifted Spencer's hand away from her check, "I'm so sorry," she gently put Spencer's hand back down at her side, "I don't get to be careless anymore, I can't be selfish, I can't make this decision."

"Yes you can Ash," Spencer quickly cut in trying to reason, "This decision is yours and one you have to make alone, no one else can."

"Exactly Spencer, I'm not alone anymore, I can't just make life changing decisions anymore," Ashley let her hand rub over her small bump, "I can't just put myself first now, I'm so sorry." Ashley looked into Spencer's sad, pained eyes one last time before she turned and kept walking down the street in the rain that was still hammering away, the rain Spencer barely noticed as the hammering in her chest started.

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How'd you feel about this one?


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note**

Thanks everyone for sticking with this story so far, I know there's been a lot of build up, but I promise things will get better!

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 12 – I Love The Rain Most, When It Stops.**

When something went wrong in Spencer's life the world always seemed to respond with a rainstorm, as if she were one of those cartoon characters which had its own dark grey cloud hanging directly above their head.

Spencer liked to think that the rain represented the current struggle in her life; waiting excruciatingly for the sky to clear, for the rain to stop, returning to a moment when life is clearer, everything returning to simplicity, the lesson finally learnt, leaving the world to look that tad more beautiful, completely refreshed, another puzzle piece added to life.

Her mother always thought she was being over dramatic when she compared the weather to her life, reminding her that it was God alone who chose the weather to suit his mood, and not her. But Spencer didn't care about her mother's religious lectures, didn't listen closely enough to take them into account, all she knew was that it rained when she did something wrong, when she'd made a mistake; and this latest blunder was no different.

The rain had been constant over the last three days, starting the minute Spencer drove Ashley back to her house after the ultrasound, to the moment seventy-two hours later when Spencer was dialing Ashley's number again.

No answer; the voice mail cutting in again, "Ash it's me again. Please ring me, even if it's just to let me know you're ok." Spencer ended the call and threw her phone across the room.

When Ashley had finally walked away, leaving Spencer powerless to move, the rain rapidly escalating; Spencer had simply watched her go, her whole body feeling numb; the clogs in her mind unable to process everything that had happened.

It was fifteen minutes later when she finally walked back through the front door; her water logged clothes were tightly clinging to her cold skin, her blond hair darkened by the rain plastered in all directions across her face, small droplets escaping to make the beginning of a puddle. Spencer walked the few paces back into the living room, seating herself in the chair opposite the sofa, watching it as if it were playing a continuous loop of the recent incident, not caring that the chair was absorbing the water.

When her brain finally managed to calculate some of the situation, she hastily dragged herself out of the room, no longer able to stand the sight of as a pit of nausea developed in her stomach. Spencer headed for the shower, stripping away all of her clothes to stand under the hot water, closing her eyes, letting the water relax her muscles.

Once she was dressed she checked her phone, once, twice, and a third time more just to make sure she hadn't received any texts or missed any calls. When she finally came to terms with the fact that Ashley hadn't called her, she closed her eyes tightly, her brow furrowed, and a deep breath pushed past her lips. After a minute she grabbed her phone up and dialed Ashley's number as quickly as possible; her phone was switched off and had gone straight to voice mail.

"Ash, It's Spencer, look I shouldn't…we shouldn't have…please just call me."

Spencer flipped her phone closed and flopped down onto her bed, she missed Ashley already.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

On the second day Spencer had gotten into her car and driven to Ashley's house; her eyes feeling somewhat bleary after a night without sleep, noticing Ashley's car as she pulled into the mansions long drive way.

The rain was still battering down against her windshield as she made a dash towards the front door; pausing in front of it, unsure of whether to let herself in with the key Ashley had given her or knock.

Spencer lifted her hand and rattled her knuckles against the door, anxiously waiting for an answer. After ten minutes, when no one came, Spencer pushed her hand into her back pocket, letting her fingers search for the key, finally finding it, putting it into the lock to open the door and let herself in.

Spencer didn't bother calling out Ashley's name while she searched the first floor, not wanting to give her a chance to hide away before Spencer had a chance to talk this whole mess through with her.

When she had no luck finding Ashley on the first floor she headed up the stair, leading to the landing that lead off to her room, when she reached it, she wrapped her hand around the doorknob, trying to open the door, only to find that it was locked. She lent her forehead against the door, closing her eyes as she let out a deep breath of disappointment.

After a few seconds Spencer's eyes flashed open, she could hear quite footsteps behind the door, "Ashley I know you're in there, please let me in," she pleaded, "We really need to talk."

She listened carefully for a response; a response which never came, "Ash please don't avoid me, please don't shut me out. I hate us not talking," Spencer paused again, trying to listen, the noise of footsteps still audible, "I'm going to go, but I want you to know that I miss you already Ash."

Spencer pulled herself away from the door, went back down the stairs, heading back out into the pouring rain, which was now joined by some flash lightning, another sign of back luck; got into her car and drove home, leaving the ultrasound picture, the house key and her baggie hoodie just outside Ashley's bedroom door.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

It was just after midday on the third day when Ashley decided that she really needed to go to the store, she'd practically eaten what little food she did have in the house and she could no longer hold back her craving for ice cream.

She wrapped herself up in a warm coat, grabbing her umbrella as she headed out of the door. She loved the smell of fresh air when it mixed with rain, it made her feel safe. It reminded her of the time her dad had taken her out for the day on her ninth birthday, one minute it had been completely sunny and the next the heavens had opened up to release a summer shower; they'd ran through the park, seeking shelter under a big tree, her dad holding onto tightly while they both laughed.

When she reached the store, she noticed it was virtually empty, people not bothering to leave their homes, too busy keeping sheltered from the rain; people in LA not coping overly well in weather conditions other than sun. Ashley headed around all the snack food aisles, piling food up in her arms before heading toward the freezer section for ice cream.

Ashley stumbled forward slightly as someone accidentally caught her, knocking her pile of food to the ground. The guy quickly began to gather up her food, catching a glimpse of her rounded belly as he stood to pass them back, their eyes locked in surprise, "Aiden…" Ashley breathed out.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Spencer couldn't stop pacing around, she'd hoped Ashley would have called after she had left her house, but she never did; didn't even bother to send a text. Having no contact with Ashley was driving Spencer crazy, she hated not talking to her; they'd never not spoken for this long before as long as Spencer had known her. Not hearing Ashley's voice or seeing her face on a day to day basis was beginning to cause Spencer pain, and to know that Ashley was avoiding her on purpose made it hurt so much more.

Spencer was driving towards Ashley's house for the second time in two days, this time determined not to leave until they had spoken, until they'd figured it all out; the surface water and the permanent rain were slowing her down.

When she finally reached Ashley's again, she noticed a car parked next to Ashley's on the drive, a car she wasn't sure she'd seen before. She pushed open her car door, ducking out into the rain before slamming it shut, walking past the cars and up to the door, lifting her hand to knock. A sudden thought halted her actions, harassing her to look back at the cars. Spencer turned her gaze back to them, her breath hitching in her throat; the car she thought she hadn't seen before suddenly became very clear to her, that particular car was familiar, it was a car she'd been in before; a car that belonged to Aiden.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

When Spencer had arrived home she'd been furious, she couldn't believe Ashley would go from her arms to his in the matter of a few days. She couldn't understand how Ashley would want to be anywhere near him after he broke her heart with his foolish affair with Madison.

As quickly as that anger had appeared, it disappeared just as fast, if not faster, as it turned into a throbbing pain in her chest, the tears stinging her eyes before they managed to escape. Spencer couldn't believe that she'd let herself fall for someone like Ashley, someone so complex, someone so straight.

When the moonlight started shining into her bedroom, Spencer grabbed her jacket and headed down the stairs, she'd had enough of crying for the day, she needed a drink; she needed anything as long as it put a stop to her pain.

Spencer grabbed the door handle and opened it to discover nervous eyes meeting her own; Spencer couldn't stop her eyes from darting around Ashley's beautiful face, taking note of those wonderful white teeth biting that lush bottom lip, "You're here," she breathed; the rain had completely stopped.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note**

Thanks for the feedback everyone, it's really great to hear what you all think about it. Thanks to my Beta again! **KickMyself** you are a star!

**WARNING – This chapter is not suitable for teeny boppers! **

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 13 – The Deeper I Fall. **

"I'm here," Ashley repeated, her nervousness creeping into her voice.

Spencer couldn't control herself; she reached out to wrap Ashley in her arms, breathing her in, letting herself get lost in the blissful smell of her hair. She felt Ashley's fingers lightly digging into her back, holding her tightly.

As soon as they pulled apart Spencer let her hand envelop Ashley's, smoothly pulling her into the house, letting Ashley shut the door with her other hand before leading her upstairs.

Once they reached Spencer's room, an awkward silence settled between them, unable to look away from each other but unable to speak, "I'm sorry Ash," Spencer said breaking the silence.

"Don't be sorry Spence. I'm the one that should be sorry," She paused, her eyes searching Spencer's, "I was just scared, I freaked out."

"Why didn't you talk to me then, tell me that you were scared?"

"I don't know," Ashley shrugged, "I just needed some space to be alone; I needed to figure it out, put my head straight."

"Is that why Aiden was at your house earlier; so he could put your head straight?" Spencer hadn't meant to let a fragment of anger spill into her voice.

Ashley's eyes glimmered with hurt, "No of course he wasn't."

"Then what were you doing with him Ash?" Spencer couldn't help herself; she needed to know why he'd been there.

"I bumped into him at the store; he saw the baby bump and wanted to know what was going on; he wanted to know if he was the father Spence," She paused again, making sure her eyes were locked with Spencer's, "He was really angry that I hadn't told him…"

"So he wants to be involved?" Spencer asked cutting her off, half hoping he did and half hoping he didn't.

"Not quite. He said I should have told him sooner so he could have taken me to get an abortion," At this Spencer couldn't help but gasp a little, "He said his future in professional basketball didn't include me and a bratty child."

"Ash I'm really sorry," Spencer replied genuinely.

"It's ok Spence, really. He had a chance to be involved; I never wanted to force him to be, it was always going to be his choice, I can't help it if he chose the wrong one, because our baby's going to be amazing and he's going to miss every part of it."

"He'll live to regret it every minute for the rest of his life Ash," Spencer said seriously.

"Well at least our baby will have me," She paused again, "And hopefully her Auntie Spencer, right?" Ashley asked smiling.

Spencer smiled back, "Of course he or she will. I told you that I'll always be there and I meant it."

"I know you did."

"I'm still sorry about the other day Ash. I never should have kissed you, it was a…."

"Don't say it was a mistake Spencer; nothing about me and you is a mistake," Ashley interrupted, "I was just scared; I mean here I am, four and a bit months pregnant with the most amazing, most beautiful girl in the world kissing me; telling me she has feelings for me. It scared me Spence," Ashley stopped when she saw Spencer's eyes drop to the floor. She took a step towards her and reached out to grab hold of Spencer's hand, "It scares me to know that I'm always on your mind because I didn't expect you to constantly be on mine to."

Spencer looked back up, Ashley's eyes had softened, a smile was playing on her lips, "I didn't expect to feel it Spence, it was just there," Ashley pulled Spencer closer so that their bodies were brushing against each other, there faces barely meters apart, "I want you Spencer; but I've only ever been with Aiden, and this," she used her hand to point to herself and then to Spencer, "Makes me beyond nervous," Ashley stopped when she heard Spencer's breath quicken, "Because falling for you is the best thing that could have ever happened to me; because the deeper I fall for you Spence, the more I know that I can't let you go."

Ashley let her left hand reach up to cup Spencer's face, the pad of her thumb slowly tracing the outline of her lips, "Kiss me Ash," Spencer breathed. Ashley let her thumb lightly drag over her bottom lip one more time before moving in to capture it between her own. Their kiss was tender but firm as Ashley let her lips linger for a few seconds before she pulled back to rest her forehead against Spencer's, her mouth still hovering just millimeters away; her nose brushing against Spencer's in an Eskimo kiss before she reconnected their lips. Ashley used her teeth to gently nip Spencer's bottom lip, letting them lightly rake outwards before gently sucking on it, which caused Spencer to moan while her hands ran up and down Ashley's back. Ashley continued to deepen the kiss; her tongue slowly licking Spencer's bottom lip, causing Spencer to part them; giving Ashley her mouth to explore as their tongues gently touched.

When the kiss finally broke Spencer moved her mouth to move along Ashley's jaw placing butterfly kisses; Ashley tilted her head back to give Spencer better access to her neck; her lips kissing and sucking as they moved down; moving back up to nibble on her earlobe, electing a throaty moan from Ashley. Spencer's tongue dragged down, creating a moist path from Ashley's jaw to her pulse point, stopping to suck gently at her soft skin; Ashley's breath quickened, causing Spencer to pull back.

"Please don't stop," Ashley gasped, meeting Spencer's questioning gaze, "I need you Spence."

Spencer pulled back to unzip Ashley's hoodie, cautiously sliding it down her arms, her blue eyes staying locked on brown before throwing it to the floor, leaving Ashley wearing a black tank top, her beautiful bump poking out from underneath. Spencer felt Ashley's hand tugging at the hem of her t-shirt; she lifted her arms to let Ashley pull it over her head and away from her body.

Ashley was biting her lip nervously again, her eyes never straying from Spencer's, "Touch me Ash, it's ok," she reassured, Ashley let her hands lightly graze over the newly exposed skin and bra, her nails lightly dragging down Spencer's toned stomach; causing Spencer to make a noise half way between a moan and a whimper; Ashley leaned in to kiss her deeply again. Spencer's fingers running up and down her bare arms.

When Spencer moved from her arms to run her hands underneath her top, her fingers making patterns over the smooth skin of her back Ashley pulled back, "Do you want me to stop?" Spencer asked concerned.

"No I don't want you to stop Spence it's just…."

"Just what Ash?" Spencer asked looking into her eyes lovingly.

Ashley's eyes shifted down from Spencer's to her bump and back up again, "If you see me naked while I'm pregnant you might not want me."

Spencer smiled and shook her head, "There's nothing in the world that could make me not want you Ash, trust me," Ashley nodded her head in approval. Spencer squatted down in front of Ashley kissing her bump through the material; her finger's gripping the hem of her top; Ashley lifted her arms as Spencer glided the top over her head as she stood, leaving Ashley's stomach on display.

Spencer let her eyes take in the view of Ashley's naked rounded belly, a lump forming in her throat, "You're stunning," she whispered.

Spencer pulled Ashley into her arms, her nose nuzzling her shoulder as she breathed in her scent, placing several kisses on her collar bone; unable to stop her lips from returning to Ashley's gorgeous neck; Spencer moved to kiss behind her ear, causing another husky moan to escape Ashley's soft lips.

Ashley's fingers found Spencer's bra clasp, fiddling with it for a few seconds before managing to undo it, Ashley moved back to reclaim Spencer's warm lips, their tongues meeting hungrily; Ashley's hands pushed Spencer's bra straps down off her arms. Ashley pulled away to take in the sight of Spencer's breasts, she let her fingers run through the valley between them, Spencer gasped, her eyes closing as her head titled back, her breathing becoming heavy.

Ashley took advantage of Spencer's movements, allowing her lips and teeth to assault her neck for the first time; Spencer's hands moved to tangle in her dark curls, moving down to trace her fingers over the back of Ashley's neck and she kissed her again, Ashley moaning into her mouth.

Spencer unclasped Ashley's bra as her kisses moved to her shoulder, slowly sliding the straps down her arms, ridding it from her body. Spencer's hands ran up her sides to caress Ashley's breasts, causing her nipples to become hard in the palms of hands; making Spencer roll them between her fingers and thumb. Ashley gasped at this, making Spencer moan in response, "You feel so good Ash."

Spencer moved her kisses from Ashley's collar bone, slowly traveling down her body. Her tongue trailed slowly around Ashley's breasts, kissing and nipping everywhere except where she wanted. "You're going to drive me crazy Spence," Ashley huskily moaned through clenched teeth. Spencer just smiled and continued exploring her body. Moving to lightly lick Ashley's right nipple; making her gasp. Spencer moved her tongue to Ashley's other nipple and did it again. Unable to control herself any longer, Spencer drew Ashley's nipple into her warm mouth. She sucked lightly; her tongue running over it. Ashley's hands grabbed into Spencer's hair as she moved across to the other one.

After Ashley moaned out her name Spencer moved her trail of kisses down onto her rounded belly, her fingers tracing over her hips, "Spencer…" Ashley breathed, as Spencer hooked her fingers in the waistband of Ashley's sweat pants, pulling them down her slender legs. Ashley moved her hands to grip Spencer's shoulders, supporting herself as she lifted her feet up for Spencer to remove them.

"Come here," Ashley pleaded with Spencer.

Spencer stood back up; their eyes locking intensely, before Ashley pulled Spencer in for another deep kiss, their technique becoming languid. Spencer placed her hands on Ashley's hips and slowly walked her backwards to the bed until she felt it push against the back of Ashley's knees, their lips never breaking. Spencer gently pushed Ashley back so that she was sitting on the edge of the bed, Spencer moving to sit next to her, her hand cupping her flushed cheek as she pulled her back to her swollen lips; gently laying them down, always careful not to lean too hard into Ashley's bump. They continued to kiss as they moved themselves up the bed; Spencer losing her jeans along the way.

"Are you sure you want this Ash? If you don't we can wait," Spencer asked seriously as her eyes searched Ashley's for a glimmer of response.

"I want you Spencer, more than I've ever wanted anything," Ashley smiled as Spencer's eye's lit up, she brushed a strand of hair away from Ashley's eyes before lightly kissing her on the lips.

"I don't want to hurt you," Spencer whispered, concern filling her eyes.

"You won't," Ashley smiled, "You'd never hurt me."

Spencer moved in beside her, pressing her chest to into Ashley's back, her nipples pressing hard against her. Spencer leaned over her slightly as Ashley tilted her head to capture Spencer's lips, her tongue passed through her lips to lightly caress Spencer's own. Spencer's hands roamed all over Ashley's body, causing a shiver down her spine, a moan escaping her lips, as Spencer's fingers found her nipples again, gently rolling them between her finger's as she sucked at Ashley's neck, pinching them whenever she gently nipped Ashley's neck, the sensation driving Ashley insane.

Spencer moved from Ashley's neck, nipping and kissing her way down her back as her fingers ran over her rounded belly, "Hmm Spence," escaped from Ashley's lips.

When Spencer began to return up Ashley's back she used the tip of her tongue to occasionally draw love hearts. Their lips immediately finding each other's as they became completely lost to everything but each other. Spencer's hand began the long descent down to Ashley's core, "Please Spence," Ashley whimpered unable to take anymore delicious teasing.

Spencer let her fingers trail down to the insides of her thighs, delicately tracing patterns as they rose up towards Ashley's centre, her slim fingers finally finding her wet slit; two slowly easing inside of Ashley, a loud guttural moan breathing from her lips. Spencer's mouth roamed away from her lips back up to her neck, leaving lingering kisses there before nipping her earlobe, as her fingers began to move in a slow rhythm, rubbing her clit with her thumb at the same time; slowly increasing her speed as Ashley's moans turned vocal, "Oh fuck…" she moaned as she tossed her head back and forth. Her hand reaching out to grab a fistful of the bed sheets as she grew closer to the edge. With a final skilful rub of Ashley's clit, Spencer curled her fingers, Ashley's orgasm tearing through as she inhaled sharply and moaned out Spencer's name in satisfaction.

Spencer waited until Ashley had come down from her orgasm before she removed her fingers, bringing them up to her own mouth only to have Ashley's hand catch her wrist and draw them into her own. When Ashley had finished tasting herself on Spencer's fingers she titled her head back again to capture Spencer's lips, their tongues happily meeting, "Hmm you taste good Ash," Spencer smiled when they pulled apart, Ashley moving to lay directly on her back, not saying anything.

Spencer studied Ashley's face, unable to tell what she was thinking; "Are you ok?" her voice was full of concern. Ashley rolled her head to face Spencer's, a bright smile gracing her lips "I'm perfect."


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note**

I really want to thank everyone who has been reading this, you've all been amazing!

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 14 – Until You**

Spencer wasn't sure how long she'd been awake as she laid watching the sleek skin of Ashley's abdomen as it moved up and down with every steady breath she took. The reality that Ashley was breathing wasn't a remarkable occurrence to Spencer, it was the slight rise in flesh starting below her ribcage, peaking around her small navel, and trailing off in to the nest of dark hair that made her smile the most; because when Ashley breathed the baby breathed.

Spencer lifted her head to get a better view of Ashley's sleeping face; her head was tilted to one side rested against a pillow, her swollen lips slightly parted, cheeks still faintly flushed from the night before, her full, fluttering eyelashes rested against her cheeks hiding her beautiful brown eyes. Spencer gently leant her cheek against Ashley's warm stomach, her ear pressed lightly against it, as she closed her eyes.

"What are you doing down there?" Ashley asked groggily as she looked down at Spencer resting on her curved belly.

Spencer opened her eyes and smiled, "I'm just making sure she's ok."

Ashley laughed, "Oh I see, and the baby's telling you that it's going to be a girl huh?"

"Yeah she is; she's also telling me that her mom looks beyond beautiful in the morning," Spencer reached out to entwine her fingers with Ashley's, "Which I have to agree on."

"I don't know, I think I'm going to have to disagree, I have total bed head," Ashley said running a hand through her hair, tugging on Spencer's with her other; a gesture which caused Spencer to place a quick kiss on Ashley's stomach before moving back up the bed, "Morning," she whispered as she placed a lingering kiss on Ashley's lips.

"Morning," Ashley couldn't keep the smile off her face as her eyes held Spencer's, "How long have you been awake?"

"About twenty minutes, I didn't want to wake you."

"Have you just been laying here watching me this whole time?" Ashley asked curiously.

"Yeah I have," Spencer smiled again, "I wanted to make sure last night wasn't a dream."

"Nope it wasn't a dream, I'm still here," Ashley lightly kissed Spencer, she pulled back to rest her forehead against Spencer's, "Well it wasn't a normal dream that's for sure."

Spencer pulled back to look into Ashley's eyes, a questioning expression on her face, "Well if it wasn't a normal dream, what was it Ash?"

Ashley smiled again, "A dream come true."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Spencer wanted to make sure that Ashley's morning after, was just as special as their first night together, and after her stomach had rudely intruded on their morning snuggling, she had jumped out of bed and showered, before deciding to hurry down, and cook them breakfast; telling Ashley to take her time getting up.

Luckily for Spencer, Arthur was the type of parent that ran a very tight household when it came to cooking and cleaning, and even thought her parents had had to leave pretty quickly, the fridge remained fully stocked. Spencer grabbed the ingredients she needed and placed them on the counter next to the frying pan she'd gotten down from the utensil hook.

"What's going on down here?" Ashley asked while she dried the ends of her hair with a towel, noticing the table where Spencer had set the places for them; a vase with a single red rose in the middle.

"I wanted it to be special for you," Spencer smiled shyly and shrugged, causing Ashley to smile and reach out her arms.

"Come here," Spencer immediately walked into her arms, resting her own hands on Ashley's bump, "Thank you," she said placing a chaste kiss on Spencer's lips, "I think I could get used to waking up with you every morning."

"You should go sit down, it's almost ready," Spencer kissed Ashley again before leaving her arms and returning to the stove, to check on their breakfast.

After a couple of minutes Ashley walked over to Spencer's left, so that she could see what she was cooking them, "Erm Spence, don't get me wrong or anything, but is there supposed to be a cloud of smoke coming from those rather burnt looking pancakes?" she asked trying not to laugh.

"Hey! They are not burnt okay? They're just caramelized that's all."

"Oh I see, my mistake, I guess I just didn't understand the difference between burnt and complete charcoal."

Spencer was biting her bottom lip and shaking her head, trying to ignore Ashley's teasing, but couldn't stop herself from laughing, when Ashley began to prod the so called pancakes.

"Okay, okay, so I'm not the best cook!" Spencer declared turning to face Ashley, a playful pout creeping onto her face.

"Aw don't worry Spence, I won't tell anyone that you're a stud in the bedroom but a complete dud in the kitchen," Ashley stuck her tongue out at Spencer to distract her while she picked the syrup up from the counter, "But honestly, what girl is going to want to wake up with you when you can't even feed them after an extremely exhausting night?"

Spencer was about to reply when Ashley squirted the syrup at her face, causing her to close her eyes quickly, "I can't believe you just did that!" Spencer laughed as she opened her eyes to see Ashley wiggling her ass at her, "You're so dead Davies!"

Ashley didn't think twice before quickly scrambling off into the dining room, hurrying around the table, with Spencer hot on her heels. Unfortunately for Ashley, Spencer was quicker than she was and managed to catch her; Spencer's hands gently pulling at her waist, turning Ashley to face. As revenge Spencer let her fingertips tickle Ashley all over, making her beg for Spencer to stop.

"Stop! Stop! Spencer Please! I can't breathe!"

"Say I'm the best cook ever and you're sorry," Spencer laughed, a small smirk pulling at her lips.

"Never!" Ashley's reply came between bursts of laugher and her trying to catch her breath.

"Say it, or else I'll keep tickling you!"

"Okay, okay! You're the best cook ever, and I'm sorry!" Ashley hurried out, causing Spencer's hands to stop instantly.

"See that's why you should never insult the chef, or for that matter attack them with syrup."

Ashley laughed, "I said I was sorry, and you," she let her finger wipe a piece of the syrup from Spencer's cheek, "look so," and then ran her finger over Spencer's bottom lip, leaving behind a trail of syrup, "edible right now," Ashley eyes never leaving Spencer's.

Ashley let her finger drag down Spencer's quivering bottom lip, before leaning in to kiss her; the tip of her tongue slowly swiping over the trail of syrup she'd left behind, before she sucked it between her own lips. They kissed slowly, their tongues meeting so that Spencer could taste the syrup in Ashley's mouth.

The sound of a cough made Spencer quickly pull away from Ashley, turning to see who had caught them.

"Hey….We were…You're home….," Spencer mumbled, a blush creeping onto her face. Never in her whole life had anyone in her family caught her making out in the house.

"Yeah I'm home, hope I'm not interrupting," he raised his eyebrow in a questioning manner.

"No of course not, we were just…"

"Kissing," he said cutting Spencer off, a smile appearing on his face, as he caught Spencer's eye, "This must be Ashley," he said looking at his sister to confirm before reaching his hand out to Ashley, "It's nice to finally be able to put a face to the name of the girl my sister won't stop talking about," Spencer blushed and Ashley laughed a little, and took his hand, "I'm Clay."

"Ashley," she replied smiling at him, "You must be the adopted brother."

"Yeah, either that or my mom had an affair with the milkman and the family is just failing to realize it."

"Oh god, that's not what I meant, I'm such an idiot," Ashley stumbled over her words, worrying that her comments might of offended him.

Clay chuckled, "Don't worry about it, seriously," he turned back to Spencer, "So clearly you've been having a good time while the families been away."

"Clay, I can explain," Spencer hurried to reason with her brother, which caused him to shake his head and smile at her.

"Chill out little sis, I'm not mad," he paused when he saw Spencer let a deep breath out and relax, "I had a late flight, so maybe I could grab some breakfast with you ladies and you can tell me all about it."

"Of course, anything for my amazing brother," Spencer gave him a last smile before heading towards the kitchen, "Breakfast coming right up."

"Don't try to sweet talk me sis, you still got explaining to do."

"And don't try and pretend you're going to feed your poor brother," Ashley called out to her and then turned to Clay to explain, "She tried to cook me breakfast, but she can't cook."

"I can too cook!" Spencer yelled back from the kitchen.

"I'm telling you, burnt pancakes, not a good start to the day," Ashley said to Clay ignoring Spencer.

"Hey Spence?" Clay called.

"Yeah?"

"I think I'll just have toast," he said giving Ashley a smile and following her into the kitchen.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

They spent the next half an hour sitting at the kitchen table chatting, and Clay filled Spencer in about how their Grandma was doing. Spencer felt she would have had a huge panic attack by now, if it wasn't for how well Ashley and Clay were getting along.

"I'm glad Grandma's getting better," Spencer said sincerely.

"Yeah she looked much better when I left. When I got there she was completely out of it," Clay said shaking his head, "Mom and Dad wanted me to tell you that they're going to stay in Ohio for another week, just to make sure she's fully recovered though."

"Yeah that's good."

"So," Clay nodded his head towards Spencer's hand, which was resting on the table, entwined with Ashley's and couldn't stop the goofy grin that had appeared on his face, "You got something you want to tell me sis?"

A huge blush appeared again on Spencer's face, which caused him and Ashley to laugh, "Well Ashley is my…" She trailed off thinking of a good word to use.

"Girlfriend?" Clay suggested.

Spencer turned towards Ashley, "We haven't really talked about it, things only just happened," She turned back to Clay who nodded.

"Spence," Ashley squeezed her hand, to get her attention again, "Ask me."

Spencer looked slightly horrified, "What right now?"

"Yes, right now," Ashley beamed at her.

Spencer quickly glanced at Clay, who had turned his head to give them a little privacy, and then locked eyes with Ashley, "Ashley,"

"Yeah," she quickly cut in, making Spencer laugh.

"Will you be my girlfriend, you big goof?"

Ashley faked hurt and then laughed, "Of course I will," She placed a quick kiss on Spencer's lips, which caused Spencer to blush even more, "And goof? I though I was suppose to be your damsel?"

Spencer laughed and lifted Ashley's hand to her mouth to gently kiss her knuckles, "You'll always be my damsel, and I'll always be here to rescue you."

"As much as I love to see my sister all gooey and loved up, I'm going to have to ask a question," Clay had turned back to face them, "Spence are you going to tell mom and dad?"

Spencer shook her head, "They wouldn't understand! You know they won't, please don't tell them Clay."

"Calm down, I'm not going to tell them," he said reaching out to place his hand over Spencer's free one, "Whenever you're ready; I just want you to know that I love you just the same, and I'm here for you no matter what."

Spencer got up from her seat and gave Clay a big hug. She knew that Clay had an idea that she was gay, and felt relieved that it had been him that had seen her with Ashley, he was always understanding and knowing that she had him on her side made her feel a weight lighter, if it had been her parents or Glen it could have been a whole other story.

"Well I'm going to go and see Chelsea, I'll probably stay over there for a few days too, so if you guys want the place to yourselves, it's yours," Clay said as he let go of Spencer and stood up.

"Thanks."

"It was really nice meeting you Ashley," he said giving her a warm smile as he turned to leave, "And sis, it's really nice to finally meet the real you."

Spencer could feel her eyes tearing up as she watched him leave, "Your brother's amazing," Ashley said as she gave her shoulder a gentle supportive squeeze.

"Yeah he is," Spencer turned around to face her, "Stay here with me for the rest of the week?"

"I'd stay forever if I could," Ashley smiled as she led Spencer towards the couch.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note**

Again a massive thanks to my Beta **KickMyself**! And thanks to everyone who has been reading this Also any religious content in this is completely not meant to cause offence or insult of any kind.

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 15 – One Step at a Time**

Spencer realized that spending a few days in a row with your new girlfriend and having the house completely to yourselves had lots of positive aspects; firstly she could kiss Ashley whenever and wherever in the house she wanted, they could hold hands, cuddle, and snuggle without having to worry about who might see them. But Spencer's favorite thing about having the house alone with Ashley was that they could just simply be together; whether that meant watching films on the couch, or sitting in the backyard eating ice cream in the sun, they could just be.

Ashley had been staying at the Carlin's for the past three days, and both girls had made the most of their time together, knowing that Spencer's parents would be home tomorrow lunch time, and their new fantasy world that only consisted of them would come crashing back to reality.

They were both sitting on the couch, their feet stretched out, facing each other, playing one of their favorite pass times. Spencer had leant forward and had pushed Ashley's jumper up, so that her fingertips could touch her beautiful exposed rounded belly, and gently trace patterns.

"Do that last one again," Ashley commanded, "I almost had it!"

"Ash I've drawn this letter like eight times, if you haven't got it by now then you probably aren't going to get it at all," Spencer replied laughing.

"Just do it again Carlin, and besides, it's not me that needs you to do it again, the baby is trying to play, its brain just isn't as quick as mine."

"I hope the baby isn't playing, some of these words might not be appropriate," Ashley gave Spencer a playful slap, "Just kidding! But if you're blaming your inability to get what letter I'm tracing on the baby, then that could be counted as some sort of child abuse."

Ashley laughed, "Shut up! I know what letter it is now anyway, so you can stop the parental lecture you're about to give mom!" Ashley quickly stuck her tongue out at Spencer, "It's an 'a', next letter please."

Spencer rolled her eyes at her, and smiled as she continued to trace the words "Every minute we spend together, I fall more in love with you," on Ashley's stomach.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

When Arthur and Paula arrived home early the next day, Ashley was still upstairs getting dressed.

"Mom, Dad, you're home," Spencer greeted them surprised as she helped them put their bags in the hall.

"Don't be so shocked to see us Spencer; we do live here all year, why don't you go put the kettle on while I help your father with the last of the bags,"

Spencer watched her mom leave the house and return to the car, "Don't worry about her honey, she's been stressed this whole trip," Arthur gave her a reassuring look and pulled her into a hug, "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too dad."

Once all the bags had been brought into the house and everyone had a cup of coffee in their hands, her parents started telling her all about their trip back to Ohio.

"So what have you been up to while we were away?" Paula asked her daughter in her usual tone.

"Actually, I've been spending some time with a friend that I met at school when we first moved here," Spencer tried to explain but was cut off.

"That's great dear; I knew you'd make friends here. I told you you'd love LA after awhile, everyone just needed to settle."

"Actually mom, she's here now, her name's Ashley, she stayed over, I hope that's okay?"

"Its fine honey, I'm glad you have friend here," Arthur responded.

"Are we going to get to meet her?" Paula asked instantly.

"Of course, we didn't expect you back until after lunch, so she's upstairs getting changed."

"Actually I'm right here," Ashley said slowly entering the kitchen, "It's nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Carlin."

Spencer watched as her father smiled and greeted Ashley with his normal kindness, "It's nice to meet you to Ashley, I hope we'll see a lot more of you around here."

However Paula looked the exact opposite of her husband, her expression clearly showed that she'd taken in Ashley's full appearance, including her stomach, "So I haven't seen your family at church before?"

Spencer knew her mother had launched straight into her religious judgmental state, and would continue to be rude to Ashley until she left the house. Spencer shot Ashley a sympathetic look, silently letting her know she was sorry.

"Paula you're being rude," Arthur was trying to help but even he couldn't control his wife when she got like this.

"No Mr. C, its okay. Actually Mrs. Carlin my parents are divorced and neither of them go to church," Ashley was trying to be as polite as possible.

"Well there's a surprise," Paula replied dryly as her eyes traveled down to Ashley's stomach and then back up to her eyes.

"Mom!" Spencer yelled, "Stop it!"

"Actually Spencer, I should head home, I'll call you later though," Ashley said to Spencer before she turned her gaze back to Arthur, "It was nice to meet you."

Spencer waited until Ashley had left before starting an argument with her mother, "What was that?! Mom you made her so uncomfortable!"

"I don't think I made her uncomfortable at all, looks like she has already made herself uncomfortable. Pregnant at her age, it's disgusting!" Paula spat.

"She's my friend mom! My only friend around here in this stupid city; that you made us move to!"

"I have no problem with you making friends Spencer! Just not with people like her!"

"People like her. What's that suppose to mean?" Spencer was practically yelling now.

"I mean damaged people! People who defy God so much that he cannot save them!"

Spencer just stood there for a moment shocked at her mom's narrow mindedness, "I thought God was supposed to love all people?!"

"There are some people that choose to discard God's love, and these people will suffer their decisions in hell. You will no longer be friends with that girl, understand?!"

Spencer didn't answer her mother; instead she pushed passed her and stormed up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door shut, hoping her mom would see this as her response.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Over the next few days Spencer had chosen to ignore her mother completely, and this included the instruction that she'd been given not to see Ashley anymore. For the second day Spencer had gone home to Ashley's after school instead of going straight home.

"Spence, as much as I love spending time with you, you're sort of wearing a hole in my carpet with all your pacing," Ashley reached her hand out to Spencer, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Spencer didn't take Ashley's hand, but did go and sit down next to her on the bed, "I just can't believe she was that judgmental," Spencer turned so that her eyes were meeting Ashley's, "She doesn't even know you; she didn't even give you a chance."

"Maybe if you just told your mom and dad about us, she might understand. I mean Clay did," Ashley tried to reason.

"Well Clay's the exception to the rule, the others won't understand."

"Your dad might, he seemed really nice," Ashley said taking Spencer's hand in her own, letting her thumb lightly run over it, trying to calm her.

"My dad's nice to everyone; I mean he probably would be fine. But Glen wouldn't, and my mom definitely won't, she hates anyone that's different. Plus I couldn't cause more conflict between my parents; they're still not getting on well."

"So your mom really doesn't like me?"

"Well lets see," Spencer pretended to think by rubbing her chin, "She clearly wasn't pleased that you're pregnant, oh and you're pregnant before marriage, that's another sin, and if you're pregnant before marriage then you've had premarital sex, that's strike three for the Paula Carlin sin score card," Spencer said letting go of Ashley's hand and pacing again.

"Okay so she doesn't like me because I've had sex before marriage and ended up pregnant, maybe I should also tell her that I'm dating her daughter, and then I can get connect four," Ashley said trying to lighten the mood.

"I know my moms difficult; it's not that easy Ash. I've tried before. You try telling your mom that we're sleeping together." Spencer retorted clearly not seeing the funny side.

Spencer realized immediately that her words had come out wrong when she saw Ashley quickly stand up and her eyes turning darker, "My mom hates my guts, I haven't seen her in ages, I doubt she'd care who I was fucking," Ashley threw Spencer an evil look as she turned and began to leave,

"Ash where are you going? This is your house," Spencer was quick to follow her out of Ashley's bedroom and down some of the stairs.

"We've been going over this for the last couple of days, if you're so ashamed of us, maybe there shouldn't be an 'us' Spencer, at least not until you're ready." Ashley said stopping on the stairs to continue their some what argument.

"I am ready Ash; I want to be with you,"

"Then how come you've flinched every time I've touched you since your parents got home?" Ashley paused to make sure Spencer was looking right at her, "Huh Spencer?" she asked demanding an answer.

"I just don't want my mom to hate me," Spencer tried to explain.

Ashley's face softened, "If she really loves you Spence, she wouldn't care who you were with."

Spencer reached out to grab Ashley's hand, "I hope she does love me enough, because," she walked down a couple more steps until she was level with Ashley and used her free hand to cup her cheek, and whispered "I think you're the one," and then she let her lips capture Ashley's. Spencer kissed her slowly and gently, taking her time, so that everything she was feeling for Ashley could be felt through her kisses. When she pulled back their foreheads were resting together, their lips were barely apart, and their breaths were colliding, and at that moment Spencer knew that it didn't matter what her mom thought, because love just is, it was as simple at that.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

As soon as Spencer walked into her house she knew she could expect world war three, as her mother hurried from the kitchen towards her.

"Where have you been? This is the second time you have ignored my instructions for you to come straight home after school."

"I went to see Ashley," Spencer replied, moving towards her mom and going into the kitchen, hoping she'd find her dad for protection, unfortunately he wasn't there.

"I thought I told you not to hang around with that girl anymore!" Paula was getting louder each time she spoke.

"Mom, I don't see what the problem is,"

"She's pregnant!" Paula hurriedly cut in.

"So! She's still got her whole life ahead of her!" Spencer yelled back.

"No she hasn't! Who's going to want to be with her now when she's at this age and has a baby. I bet she doesn't even know who the father is!"

At this Spencer couldn't hold back, "She does know who the father is! She wasn't sleeping around with everyone! He doesn't want to be involved!"

"She should have thought of that before she opened her legs! Her baby will be a bastard!"

"You may hate Ashley and everything that's going on in her life but she's still my friend"

"Well you should stop being friends! Or I'll have to find a way too put a stop to it! You cannot be friends with someone who disregards God's will so easily!" By this stage both women were practically shrieking at each other.

The constant religious outbursts, that basically targeted Ashley as an awful person who had sinned and would suffer for her life in hell, seemed to push Spencer's buttons in all the wrong ways.

"You know what mom?" Spencer stopped yelling and instead steadier her voice so that it was firm.

"What?" Paula demanded.

"I'm gay." Spencer locked eyes with her mother, to make sure she knew she'd heard her.

The look of horror and disgust was evident over her suddenly pale face, "Stop this nonsense now!"

Spencer kept her eyes locked on her mother and continued, "And Ashley isn't just my friend mom, and she's not just pregnant, she's my girlfriend."

Spencer didn't get a chance to catch her mother's reaction this time, as she felt her head snap to the left, and a sharp pain shooting through her nose, as her mother drew her hand away from her daughters face.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note**

Sorry for the delay in this update, life got a bit crazy! Thanks again to everyone who takes the time to read this and leave me feedback! I read all of them and take in to account everything you say...I promise I will do a FoF when i get the chance!

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 16 – Not Ready To Make Nice**

Spencer felt like she'd lost a few minutes of her life; one minute she'd been having an argument with her mom about Ashley and the next minute she had stumbled back against the kitchen counter, her body slightly slumped trying to protect itself. Spencer lifted a hand to the right side of her face, clutching gently at her bloodied nose; the damage done by her mother's backhanded slap.

Spencer held her hand against her face as she pushed herself back into a standing position, slowly lifting her head to meet her mother's dark eyes, "You disgust me," Spencer couldn't help noticing how emotionless her mother's eyes were; no flicker of regret for what she had just done.

Spencer could feel tears burning the back of her eyes, she wasn't sure if they were caused by the actions or the words that her mother had spoken to her, "But you're my mother," she chocked out.

"You might be my daughter, but that doesn't mean I can always love you," Paula shook her head, a look of repulsion on her face, "You disgust me," she repeated again.

Spencer couldn't move, the tears were flowing freely down her cheeks now, the right side of her face throbbing from her mother's expressive action, was suddenly more evident. Suddenly Paula was grabbing at her jacket and pulling her towards the front door, "Get Out!"

Spencer stumbled out of the front door, completely taken by surprise at her mother's forceful actions; the door slamming swiftly behind her.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Spencer didn't go straight to Ashley's after the incident with her mother. She needed time to get her thoughts together; and her face. Her nose was bloodied and her right eye had completely swollen.

Luckily Spencer's car key's had been in her jacket pocket, so she could quickly leave behind her so called safe family home. She didn't know where to go, so she drove around the city, managing to find a quiet place to cry out all the events that had taken place, ignoring several calls from Ashley.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Spencer had let herself into Ashley's house, without the fear of having to bump into Ashley's mom, who had been absent for weeks since her last encounter with her daughter. Spencer could hear music playing, and knew Ashley would be up in her room, so she headed up the stairs.

When Spencer got to Ashley's room, there was a variety of nail polishes, and makeup scattered over the floor, but the brunette was no where to be seen, "Ash?" Spencer called out.

"Hey," came Ashley's voice from the bathroom, "I've been calling you all night; why haven't you answered?"

When Spencer didn't answer straight away Ashley came through to her bedroom to see what she was up to, immediately noticing the dark purpley-bluish bruise that covered Spencer's right swollen eye and the slight swelling that had appeared along the side of her nose.

"What the hell happened?" Ashley asked rushing towards Spencer.

"My mom didn't take it to well," Spencer said sarcastically as she watched Ashley's face drop, "Owe," Spencer quickly grabbed Ashley's hand to stop her from touching her nose, "It's really tender."

Ashley used her other hand to cup Spencer's un-damaged cheek, using the tip of her thumb to wipe away the tear escaping from her eyes, "I can't believe she did this to you."

"Yeah well she told me that she basically hated me and that I disgusted her, I wasn't really expecting a hug."

"We should report her, this is assault," Ashley let go of Spencer's cheek and went to grab her phone off her bed, she couldn't believe Spencer's mom would do this to her.

"Ash, don't," Spencer quickly grabbed the phone out of Ashley's hand and threw it back on the bed, looking back in Ashley's sad eyes.

"Tell me what to do Spence," Ashley searched Spencer's face, noticing how broken she looked, "I wish I could take it all away, tell me what I can do?"

"Just lay with me," Spencer watched as Ashley nodded and led her to the bed. Spencer laid down on the bed so that her and Ashley were facing each other, and shut her eyes as Ashley reached out and entwined their hands.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

The first thing Spencer did when she woke up the next morning, removing her hand that was still safely tangled with Ashley's; was to look at herself in the mirror, to see the full extent of her mother's handy work.

"My face looks completely disfigured," Spencer mumbled to Ashley as she stared back at her battered reflection, "You can barely see my eye; it's so swollen and gross," Spencer said lifting her eyes from her own reflection to Ashley's, who was standing behind her.

"Maybe we should go get it checked out, your eye might be damaged," Ashley suggested.

"Maybe we could just try putting ice on it? It might take some of the swelling out of the bruise."

"I think that only works if you do that straight away."

"I guess there's nothing we can do then. I look hideous," Spencer declared as she turned to face Ashley.

"Babe, even with the swollen eye, you're still the most beautiful women I've ever seen," Ashley reached out to hold Spencer's hands between her own.

"You just called me 'babe' for the first time," Spencer couldn't help the smile that crept onto her face, "I kind of like it," Ashley winked at Spencer, which caused her to laugh, "But Ash?"

"Yeah?"

"If you wanted to see the most beautiful women in the world, you should just look in the mirror."

Ashley laughed, "Cute, but cheesy. Very cheesy Spence," Spencer playfully smacked Ashley's shoulder.

"I'm trying my best," Spencer whined, "Haven't I mentioned I'm disfigured at the moment?" she pouted, causing Ashley to lean forward and place a gentle kiss on her lips, trying carefully to avoid Spencer's nose.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Hey babe?" Ashley asked as her and Spencer sat eating pizza on her bedroom floor.

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to go home and try and talk to your dad? I mean maybe he can reason with your mom," Ashley watched as Spencer's face dropped and she threw the crust of her pizza back into the box.

"I completely forgot about him," Spencer paused and checked her phone to see if she had any missed calls, "He hasn't rang. I bet my mom hasn't even told him; she's probably made some excuse for why I didn't go home last night."

"You should go see him; I could come with you if you want?"

"Yeah you're right, I should go see him. I just don't know if I could handle it if he acted like my mom," Spencer replied lifting her hand to her bruised cheek.

"He won't," Ashley scooted closer to Spencer, so that she could hold her hand.

"You don't know that," Spencer shook her head.

"I saw the way he looked at you the other day, he won't care as long as you're happy, he loves you Spencer."

Spencer turned so that she was looking at Ashley, "Yeah, my mom is supposed to too."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

When Spencer opened the front door to her house, she wasn't expecting to hear the loud booming voice of her father. You see, if there's one thing you should know about Arthur Carlin, it was that he never shouted, ever; and to hear his voice so thunderous, was quite frightening to Spencer.

She slowly continued down the hall, with Ashley closely behind her, towards the yelling voices; the other one now apparent as Paula, and peered her head around the doorway, just enough so she could clearly hear them and see their wild gestures.

"You moved this family all the way out here, so I want to know why you've been destroying it?!" Spencer watched as her father took another step towards her mother, his hands out before him, gesturing angrily.

"I'm not destroying it!" Spencer could see that her mother looked like she wanted to cry, but was holding back.

"If you're not tearing our family apart then why are all the kids so unhappy!?"

"The kids are fine! They're happy we moved! They love it here!" Paula was yelling now.

Arthur laughed bitterly, "If our kids are so happy then where are they all? Glen's always out wherever, Clay would rather be at Chelsea's, and Spencer," he trailed off for a minute, "Spencer hates being here, almost as much as me!" Arthur turned his back to his wife and ran a hand through his hair.

Paula looked shocked, "You told me you supported me! That you were happy to move out here!"

"I was trying to make our marriage work! Because that's what people who are supposed to be in love do!" He said whipping back around to face her, "Now tell me how long?" he demanded.

"Dad, what's going on?" Spencer asked as she walked into the room, ignoring her mom completely.

Arthur turned in shock when he heard her voice, "My God honey! What happened to your face?" he quickly walked over to her and gently lifted her face so he could see the damage.

"You mean mom hasn't told you?" Spencer said finally turning to face her.

"Told me what?" Arthur threw an appalled look at his wife and then turned back to his daughter. Seeing her looking reluctant, he gave her a little encouragement, "Honey, you can tell me anything, ok?"

Spencer saw the concern in her father's eyes, and in that moment she knew he'd understand, "I told mom I was gay the other day, and this was the result," Spencer said turning back to her mother; her face still emotionless.

Arthur marched straight over to Paula and grabbed her upper arms, "You devastate this family and then hit our daughter for being nothing but herself?! You revolt me!" He released her arms, pushing her back slightly and walked back over to Spencer, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"Honey, I love you. Don't ever stop being who you are, ok?" He pressed a kiss to Spencer's forehead.

"Thanks dad," Spencer smiled as she hugged him tightly, "I really love you."

"You shouldn't have to thank me, I'm your dad, I love you no matter what," he said pulling back and smiling at her.

Arthur turned his attention back to Paula, "How long Paula, I won't ask you again?"

"What's going on? Why were you two fighting?" Spencer asked confused.

"Oh didn't your mother tell you? She's been sleeping with her boss, Ben. She just won't tell me how long it's been going on."

At this Spencer quickly turned to face her mom, "Wait, wait," Spencer walked towards her mother and stopped when she was standing directly in front of her, "I fall in love with a girl and you judge me; you disown me. When all this time you've been having an affair?!"

"Don't you care that your choice to be gay hurts me, that it hurts the people who love you," Paula responded completely ignoring Spencer's question.

"Mom it's not a choice. And I do care that it hurts you," Spencer took her mom's hand in her own, "But I deserve to be happy, and being gay is part of who I am; hiding it kills me a little bit more everyday."

Paula snatched her hand away "It is a choice! One that you don't have to make! It you're going to choose that path, then you'll burn in hell Spencer! God doesn't accept people like you, who blatantly choose to disobey him into heaven!"

Spencer sniggered and walked backwards away from her mom; angry that she wasn't even willing to understand, "Well I guess I'll see you there then mom, because I'm pretty sure he's not fond of adultery either."


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note**

Hey everyone, sorry this update is a little later than usual; it's been a busy week! My beta has gone on holiday for a month, so i'm going to apologise in advance if there is any grammar or spelling mistakes in these next few chapters, i will try my best but sometimes i miss things / Again i'd like to say thanks to everyone who has stuck with this story and spent the time to leave me feedback, it means a lot!

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 17 – A Place In This World**

The next few days in Spencer's life pretty much passed in a blur. She couldn't remember what happened after that moment with her mom. All she knew was that there was a lot more shouting between her mom and dad, some shouting between her, Glen and Clay and a lot of comforting from Ashley.

Luckily her father had let her stay at Ashley's without a thought, promising that he'd take care of everything, and that when she came home they could talk about the whole thing. Staying at Ashley's also meant that she'd missed the moment that her father demanded that her mother packed her bags and left.

"I'm glad you're home again honey," Arthur said pulling his daughter into a hug, before turning to smile at Ashley "And Ashley, thank you for taking care of my little girl, I really appreciate it."

"It was no problem Mr. C. I'd do anything for her," Arthur watched as Ashley turned to face his daughter; as she entwined their fingers.

"Well come through to the kitchen girls, I'll whisk us up some lunch."

"Erm that's okay Mr. C, I've tasted Carlin cooking before, and it isn't good," Ashley said as she followed them both down the hall and into the kitchen; Spencer whipping around to stick her tongue out at her.

"Ha ha, very funny!" Spencer replied in a dry tone, "But my dad is an awesome chef. Trust me, once you've had his food, nothing will compare."

"You're both right," Arthur replied grabbing things from the fridge and shutting it with his left foot, "I am the best cook," Spencer smiled at him and stuck her tongue out at Ashley, "And Spencer is the worst," he laughed as Spencer's face dropped and Ashley stuck her tongue out at her.

"Both of you obviously don't recognize food with a difference," Spencer replied laughing.

"Oh I recognized the difference all right, I just wouldn't call it food," Spencer playfully nudged Ashley's shoulder.

"Yeah and burnt doesn't make it different honey, just bad," Arthur said over his shoulder as he chopped.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

While the girls continued their playful banter, with Arthur occasionally joining in, he prepared them a simple spaghetti and some bread; all three of them sitting around the table to eat it.

"Wow this is really good Mr. C. I guess Spencer was right, you are a great chef," Ashley said as she smiled at him.

"Thanks Ash," he turned from her to Spencer, "So how long have you known you were gay honey?" Arthur asked as bit into his piece of bread.

"It clicked with me when we lived back in Ohio, so about a year and a half," Spencer looked up from her food as she felt her fathers hand on her own.

"I wish you'd told me then, I could have helped you deal with this, I could have helped your mom deal with this."

Spencer looked guiltily at him, "I'm sorry dad; I was just scared. I mean look how mom reacted, that's exactly the reason why I didn't tell you before."

"Your right, your mother was way out of line reacting like she did," he lifted a hand to Spencer's bruised face, "It appalls me to know that she'd be so narrow minded, especially when it comes to her own family; and the fact that she raised her hand to you, it kills me. I should have been here to protect you."

Spencer could see the sadness in her father's eyes, "I shouldn't have needed to be protected from my own mother," she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, "You being understanding now is all that matters."

Arthur brought Spencer's hand up to his lips and placed a kiss across it, "I always will, I promise," Arthur turned his gaze back to Ashley, "I want you to know that you're welcome here anytime," Ashley smiled back at him, "And your baby will be too."

"Thanks Mr. C."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

After lunch, Spencer and Ashley headed upstairs to Spencer's bedroom to watch a movie. Ashley snuggled into Spencer as they laid on the bed to watch the DVD, "I'm glad your dad is going to be there for you Spence, he's amazing."

"He is, and so are you," Spencer pulled Ashley in closer to her body, settling a hand on Ashley's stomach, feeling Ashley instantly nuzzling into her.

A few hours and movies later, Ashley's phone rang, a surprise call from her mother, "Fine, I'm coming home," Ashley flipped her phone shut and stood up, "I have to go home, my mom has finally come home from another one of her adventures, and wants me to meet husband number four."

Spencer got up off the bed and walked around to Ashley, "Thanks for being there these last few days; I don't know what I would have done without you."

"Your welcome," Ashley smiled at her and leaned it to kiss her, "I'll call you later tonight; let you know how it went with my old hag."

Spencer watched as Ashley left the room, and waited until she'd shut the door before she let her body slide down in front of her bed, her hands going up to run through her hair, as she replayed the events of the last days through in her mind.

A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts, "Come in," Spencer called.

She watched as Glen's head peered through the slightly open gap, "Hey."

"Look if you've come to yell at me, or to tell me how much I repulse you, then you can leave now, I'm not interested," Spencer said firmly, her eyes meeting his.

"Actually," Glen pushed open the door more, a hand concealing something behind his back, "I wanted to give you these," he removed his hand from behind his back, revealing a bunch of flowers and bent down in front of her; handing them to her.

"They're beautiful Glen," Spencer said shaking her head in surprise, "But why are you giving them to me?"

Glen moved so that he was sitting down, leaning against the end of her bed next to her, he kept his head facing forwards, "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry if I yelled at you the other day, I'm a complete ass," he turned to face her and shrugged, "And that you're my sister and I love you no matter who you are or what you choose to do in life."

Spencer could feel tears building up behind her eyes, she was completely shocked, "Thanks Glen, that means a lot to me."

Glen smiled back at her, "Come here," he replied putting his arm around her shoulder, "I just really wish that you felt that you could have told me Spence, like you did with Clay. I don't want to be the brother you can't talk to; I'm supposed to have your back remember?"

Spencer let a small laugh escape her lips, "You better have from now on then."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Spencer was upstairs getting ready to go to Ashley's the next morning when she heard a series of knocks at her front door. Being the only one home, she sighed and hurried down the stairs; swinging the door open.

"Hey stranger," She said letting her husky voice hang in the air as a smile crept onto her face while she watched Spencer's blue eyes sparkle.

"Rach!" Spencer couldn't help the big smile that appeared on her face a she jumped into Rachel's arms.


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note**

Again I just want to apologies if there is any mistakes in this chapter, my trusty beta is busy sunning it up in Turkey; so if there are mistakes they're her fault really! Again thanks to all of you who read this and let me know what you think, I love you! And I promise I will do a massive FoF soon, since this story only has a few chapters left.

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 18 – The Words**

Spencer had definitely missed this, she squeezed her eyes closed, and hugged the dark haired girl even tighter, breathing her in as she did so.

"Not so tight S, you're going to suffocate me," Rachel pulled back still smiling. By this time Spencer was jumping up and down on the spot, her hands grasping Rachel's upper arms.

"I can't believe it…you're here, in LA…with me," Spencer squealed happily.

"I know me either, but here I am," Rachel replied playfully.

Spencer slapped her arm, "Shut up! You know what I mean. I've missed you," this caused Rachel to smile even more.

"I would say you look great, but I'm noticing you have some recent battle scars?" Rachel reached her hand out to touch the side of Spencer's face; the bluish bruise had now turned a yellow.

"Trust me, we have so much to catch up on," Spencer placed her hand on top of Rachel's and brought it down to her side, naturally letting their fingers interlock, "You on the other hand look gorgeous," Spencer let her eyes travel over her body, drinking in the sight.

Rachel was wearing a blue t-shirt that hugged her in all of the right places, with some worn in jeans, a black belt curved round in their loops. Her hair was a dark brown, almost black, it was a medium length, and messy looking as always, "Don't I always," she said playfully, smirking at Spencer, "Well are you going to invite me in or what?" Spencer didn't respond, instead she simply tugged her hand and led her into the house, shutting the door behind them.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"So what are you really doing here?" Spencer asked as she handed Rachel a cup of coffee and settled on the couch next to her.

"My mom and dad wanted to open a restaurant, and they thought here of all places would be the right place to do it. So they've bought some place in the city, apparently it's going to be 'so hip and cool,'" Rachel said mocking her parents, causing Spencer to smile.

"So you're here for good?"

"I'm just here for a couple weeks at the moment, they're house shopping as we speak. But once they buy one, I'm here 24/7 bitches!"

Spencer laughed, "I'm really glad you're going to be here."

"I guess there's just something about LA that Ohio families just can't resist, hey?" Rachel said smiling at her.

"Are you sure it's not me that you couldn't resist?" Spencer joked, her eyes immediately catching Rachel's, both unable to look away.

Rachel bit her bottom lip as her eye's searched Spencer's face "Yeah that too S." her voice coming out nervously, her fingertips tracing over Spencer's hand. Spencer slowly moved her hand so that their fingers could entwine, a smile creeping onto her face.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Hey babe, I'm sorry I'm late I…" Ashley trailed off as she saw Spencer sitting next to a good looking dark haired girl. Spencer's eyes instantly traveled to her eyes, and she smiled.

Spencer jumped off the couch and walked towards Ashley, reaching out and grabbing her hand she pulled her towards Rachel, "Ash, I want you to finally meet my best friend Rachel."

"Hey, it's nice to finally meet you Ashley," Rachel smiled up at her.

Ashley noticed Rachel's eyes widen slightly as her gaze passed over her stomach, quickly covering up how shocked she was before smiling at her, "Yeah, you too," for some reason Ashley had a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach, but it was one that she couldn't quite put her finger on.

"Ash, sit down, I'll get you a drink," Spencer ushered her into a chair and headed into the kitchen, leaving her alone with Rachel.

"So how come you're in LA?" Ashley asked, hoping her voice didn't sound too suspicious.

"My family's moving out here. They're just looking for a house at the moment, so I just thought I'd come by to see S."

"That's great, you'll love LA," Ashley said hurriedly; not failing to notice the little pet-name she'd used for Spencer, and immediately hating it.

Spencer came back into the room and handed Ashley her drink, and then sat back down next to Rachel, "You two getting on okay? Let me guess, you were talking about how amazing you both think I am," Spencer smiled teasingly at them both.

"Well we both decided that you're cute S, but we've seen better," Rachel laughed as Spencer opened her mouth and pretended to be hurt, before she picked up a cushion and hit her with it.

Ashley couldn't help but watch the exchange taking place between them; Rachel calling Spencer cute, Spencer hitting Rachel with a cushion, Rachel's hands grabbing hold of Spencer's wrists to get her to stop, her thumbs running over Spencer's skin to soothe the area she'd grabbed, the look shared between them before Rachel removed her hands away. Ashley suddenly knew what that funny feeling in her stomach was, she was feeling jealous, but most of all she was feeling threatened.

"Actually I just remembered, I have to go meet my mom for lunch," Ashley said interrupting the moment clearly happening before her eyes, Spencer's face shot in her direction as if her voice had scared her.

"I'll walk you out," Spencer got up and led Ashley to the door, "Will you call me later? I want us to go out for lunch tomorrow, we haven't really been out as a proper couple yet," Spencer smiled at her.

Ashley wasn't really sure how she was supposed to be feeling, one minute her girlfriend looked like she was having a moment with someone else and then next she was acting completely cute and being perfect as if nothing had happened, "Of course, I'd love that," Ashley managed to stumble out.

"Great, I already can't wait," Spencer placed her hand on Ashley's cheek as she leant in to kiss her, completely failing to notice Ashley's hesitant response.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

When Spencer woke the next morning she had a text waiting on her phone from Rachel, 'S meet me for breakfast? Need something to get me going if I'm going to survive another day in the crazy city! R xxx' Spencer replied to the text and headed to the bathroom to quickly shower, and change. Making sure she grabbed her purse and car keys as she headed out the door.

"Don't tell me that you've lived here for like 6 months and you still don't know your way around?" Rachel mocked as Spencer sat down opposite her.

"Whatever this place is a jungle and you know it," Spencer replied playfully grabbing the menu.

"Excuses, excuses, they won't get you far S."

Spencer laughed, "Rach, just shut up and order."

The waitress came over and took their orders, both choosing to have an omelet and a glass of orange juice, and promised them it wouldn't be more than fifteen minutes.

"So you want to tell me what actually happened to you face?" Rachel asked as she locked eyes with Spencer.

"I thought I'd managed to dodge that question too easily," Spencer tried to laugh it off.

"S, that bruise doesn't look like something you can just shrug off. Did you really think that I wouldn't ask about it?"

"No I knew you'd ask," Spencer paused, "It's still a pretty sore subject, I guess I haven't quite dealt with it yet," Spencer shrugged, her eyes dropping to the table.

Rachel quickly reached out for Spencer's hand, bringing her gaze back to Rachel's eyes, "You know you can tell me anything right? You know I wouldn't judge you, know matter what."

"I know I can," Spencer said managing to smile, "It all started when I met Ash, we became friends really quickly and even though I knew she was pregnant I fell for her. We sort of danced around each other for awhile, and then it just happened, she's amazing."

"Well I'm guessing Ashley didn't give you that black eye."

Spencer shook her head in response, "Let's just say that my mom wasn't too pleased when I introduced her to my 'friend' Ashley. She basically told me that Ash was a sinner and that I couldn't be friends with her anymore. Obviously I flipped out. Then me and Ash decided that maybe I should tell my parents about us, especially since Clay already knew and was being all understanding like always. Anyway I got home and me and mom ended up in an argument, I yelled, she yelled, I was so caught up in the moment that I kind of accidentally just told her I was gay, and with Ashley all at once. It must have been too much for her because the next thing I knew she'd backhanded me."

Rachel squeezed Spencer's hand, letting her thumb run over it as she listened, seeing the tears building up in her eyes, "S, I'm so sorry."

Spencer lifted her free hand up to her face to wipe away the tears that had some how managed to escape from her eyes, "I didn't mean to cry, it's just all so much."

"Don't be so stupid S! I completely understand why you're upset, I would be too. How'd Arthur the great handle it?"

Spencer laughed, "Dad was amazing, he was understanding and he threw my mom out of the house, even Glen didn't judge me," Spencer paused again, a new set of tears escaping her eyes, "I just don't get how she can just so easily decide to stop loving me because of who I am," By this time Spencer had broken down into complete sobbing and Rachel had moved around to her side and pulled her into a hug, her hands gently rubbing up and down Spencer's back, "She's my mom, she's supposed to love me unconditionally not matter what, it's her responsibility as my parent to be there for me."

Rachel didn't say anything for a long while; she ignored the waitress when she brought their breakfast over and waited until Spencer had stopped shaking in her arms before she pulled back, her thumbs instantly going up to wipe away the tears that had streamed down her cheeks, "Your mom does love you S, she's just letting her stupid religious values run her senses at the minute. She'll realize sooner or later that she's an idiot when she notices that she's missing out on her daughter's life and all the great things she's doing in it. Trust me?"

Spencer nodded her head and smiled at Rachel, letting her lean in and plant a kiss on her forehead.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Spencer quickly jogged up the street, carefully trying to avoid all the people who were getting in her way. Stopping for breathe when she saw Ashley waiting outside the restaurant, before continuing towards her.

"You were suppose to meet me like an hour ago, where were you?" Ashley asked when Spencer finally reached her.

"I'm sorry Ash, I spent the morning with Rach, we were catching up and talking about my family and I just lost track of time," Spencer replied trying to explain herself.

Ashley turned her face away from Spencer, breathing out angrily, before turning back to meet her eyes, "Spencer I've been trying to talk to you about your mom all week and you keep saying its nothing!"

"Ash, me and Rach have a lot of history ok? She knows about all my family's ins and outs," Spencer could see that Ashley was pissed, "Look don't be mad, she's always understood me like no one else can,"

"How do you expect me too understand you, if you always go to her instead of me," Ashley heatedly cut in.

"I know, but you're hardly going to give the best advice," Spencer couldn't help her voice rising a little; "I mean your family life is hardly perfect!" Spencer realized that what she'd just said was a massive mistake, as Ashley's eyes flashed with rage.

"You know what, fuck you!" Ashley yelled shaking her head and taking a step backwards, "My family might be shit, and I might not know what I'm talking about, but at least I was willing to try!" Ashley shook her head at Spencer one more time before she turned around and walked away.

"Ashley! I'm sorry! Don't leave," Spencer hurried after her, "Ash please, I'm sorry," Spencer managed to grab her arm, getting her to stop.

Ashley turned around to look at her, every part of her face portraying just how furious she was, "Funny how you always seem to be chasing after me saying that," Spencer eye's were staring into hers, guilt plastered all over them.

"But I really am sorry Ash," Spencer managed to get out.

"Yeah, you always are," Ashley shook her head again, pulling her arm from Spencer's grip and walking away, leaving Spencer standing alone.

Spencer fumbled in her pocket for her phone, her fingers managing to locate it and pull it free. Her finger's dialing the number to the first person who came into her head; Rachel.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Ashley was mad, no she was more that mad she was fuming; fuming with jealousy and with disappointment. Spencer wasn't supposed to go to the best friend, no, the ex-girlfriend from Ohio who had just come back into her life; she was suppose to let Ashley in, let her be there for her.

Ashley had driven straight home after her argument with Spencer, throwing her bag angrily at the couch, not really caring is she broke anything inside of it. She headed up to her room and threw herself down backwards on to her bed, bringing her hands up to cover her face.

Rubbing her face lightly Ashley let her hands drop down to her sides, her head turning to the right towards her desk chair. The big hoodie Spencer had given her was draped over it.

Ashley sighed to herself before getting up off the bed and pulling the hoodie up to her face, breathing it in, Spencer's perfume still lingering in the fabric. She shook her head again; maybe she was overacting, all those hormones making her a little crazy. Spencer was right to some extent, Rachel did know a lot more about her family and being gay than Ashley did.

Maybe if they just tried talking to each other; tried telling the other how they were feeling, than everything would be okay. Ashley knew that the most important thing was that Spencer wanted to be with her so much that she had been willing to tell her parents about them even if she didn't really want to. Ashley slipped the hoodie on and headed down the stairs, grabbing her car keys on the way out; it didn't matter who was right or wrong this time, all that mattered to Ashley was that she needed Spencer, and she was pretty sure Spencer needed her too.

When Ashley arrived at Spencer's house she let herself in, knowing that Spencer wouldn't mind, closing the door quietly behind herself, following the voices she could hear in the kitchen.

Their backs were facing her as they sat next to each other at the table talking; Rachel's hand was covering Spencer's, her thumb and finger's gently running over her skin. Their heads were close together, slowly turning to face each other; Rachel's lips hovering over Spencer's.

Ashley didn't stay to watch anymore as she turned on her heels and stormed out of the house, the tears falling down her face.


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's Note**

So this chapter took up 19 pages on word, so I'm hoping it classes as a long chapter; one that isn't boring and doesn't drag on, because after this chapter there is only one more! Thanks again to everyone who has read this and reviewed, or lurked, I love you all.

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 19 – I Will Show You Love**

Spencer's head was spinning; this last week and a half had been the worst and the best time of her life all at the same moment. Telling her mom about her and Ashley had been one of the most painful experiences of her life, and not just physically. But at the same time the experience of finally coming out had lifted an enormous weight from her shoulders, and she was grateful that she was finally free; Spencer guessed that three out of four of her family members being understanding was good enough for now.

And then there was Rachel and Ashley; Spencer couldn't believe that it took one of them to make her feelings clearer about the other. Rachel had been there from the start, always the one person that she could count one, never failing to listen to her without judgment, and Spencer was sure she'd forever appreciate having Rachel in her life. Ashley on the other hand had been a complete surprise, someone she'd never seen coming; enough baggage to balance Spencer's own out.

Spencer thought about knocking as she arrived at Ashley's house, but decided against it at the last minute, letting herself in, just as she had become accustomed to doing. The house was quiet just like always, a quality that Spencer couldn't decide if she found peaceful or unsettling; as she headed up the stairs to Ashley's room.

Finding the door partially open Spencer grabbed the handle and pushed it open just enough so that she could see fully into the room. Her eyes instantly finding Ashley, "Hey," Spencer said quietly as she opened the door fully, Ashley's eyes looking up to find her own, "Ash about earlier,"

"Have fun with _her_ after our fight?" Ashley cut in irritably.

"What are you talking about?" Spencer asked as her eyes filled with confusion.

"I don't know why I'm so surprised," Ashley got up from her chair and paced around her room, turning her back to Spencer, "I mean she's gorgeous, she's thin, she's _not_ pregnant," Ashley turned around and watched as a puzzled look appeared across Spencer's face.

"Ashley what are you talking about?"

"Oh and of course she was the one you came out to. The one you tell everything to," Ashley continued ignoring Spencer's question.

"Ash she was my first love,"

Ashley quickly cut in "Yeah well you're mine," her eyes catching the shock in Spencer's, causing her to shake her head "Shame I know, because you clearly don't love me," She squeezed her eyes shut to try and hold the tears back, "I saw you with her earlier," she opened her eyes to lock onto Spencer's "I saw her lean in to kiss you."

"I guess you didn't stick around to see what happened then?" Spencer let a smile tug at her lips, which seemed to infuriate Ashley more.

"And look more like a fool than I clearly already was?!"

"Well if you would have stuck around," Spencer started walking towards her "You would have seen that I pulled away," She stopped directly in front of Ashley and smiled, the surprise now clear in Ashley's own eyes.

"What?" Ashley breathed out.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

_Spencer waited until she heard Rachel answer before completely breaking down, "Rach, I think I just fucked up really bad with Ashley…No I dunno…No I said something so stupid…will you meet me at mine?...ok, thanks…bye."_

_Spencer hit the end call button and walked back to her car, her mind replaying the scene with Ashley over and over in her head. Spencer had no idea why she'd said what she did, Ashley was right, she was only trying to help, she'd been trying to help all week and Spencer had shut her out because she was scared, she didn't want to put anymore pressure on their relationship; or on Ashley's baby._

_When Spencer arrived home Rachel was already there, waiting calmly for her in the kitchen. Rachel took in Spencer's red puffy eyes and mascara stained cheeks for the second time that day and immediately held her arms out; Spencer instantly falling into them._

"_Don't cry S," Rachel whispered into her ears as she held her, "Tell me what happened?"_

_Spencer pulled back, her hands going up to her face to wipe away her tears, "I was basically a bitch."_

_Rachel headed over to the counter, sticking the kettle on to make them a drink, as Spencer took a seat at the kitchen table, relaying the words spoken between her and Ashley._

_Rachel placed a cup of coffee down in front of Spencer and then took the seat next to her, "You should make it up to her, surprise her with something; flowers maybe?"_

_Spencer smiled at Rachel over her cup and then took a drink, "You think that'll be enough?"_

"_Well flowers and a lot of serious ass kissing."_

_Spencer laughed, "Thanks Rach, I don't know what I'd do without you."_

_Rachel placed her hand on top of Spencer's letting her thumb and fingers gently run over her skin, causing Spencer's eyes to lock onto hers, Rachel couldn't take her eyes of Spencer's, she felt like she was drowning in them as she leant her head forward._

_Spencer could feel Rachel's lips hovering over her own, her lips tingling as she felt Rachel's breath against them, her nose slowly beginning to nuzzle her own as her lips inched closer._

"_I can't," Spencer said pulling away, her eyes looking at the table._

_Rachel gulped as she tried to compose herself, "I know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have," she shook her head._

_Spencer slowly lifted her eyes back up to meet Rachel's, "No, I'm sorry. Seeing you again seems to be,"_

"_Bringing back memories of us?" Rachel asked cutting in._

_Spencer nodded, "Yeah."_

"_It still feels right S," she paused making sure Spencer could see the emotion in her eyes, "I still want you as much as I ever did; I love you."_

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"I told her that things are different between us now, that I still loved her, but that I wasn't _in love_ with her anymore," Spencer let her eyes search Ashley's for some sort of response.

"You did?" Ashley asked relieved, but still needing to hear it again.

"Of course I did," Spencer said smiling at her, "I already have a beautiful girlfriend why would I want to go and ruin that?"

Ashley put her hands up to her face, a humiliated 'ohhh God," sound escaping her lips. Spencer couldn't stop smiling as she moved to wrap her arms around Ashley's waist, "I'm so embarrassed. I've never acted this crazy before," Ashley mumbled inside of her hands.

Spencer laughed, "I kind of like knowing that I make you crazy."

Ashley lifted her hands away from her face; finally letting her eyes meet Spencer's "Yeah?" she asked biting her lip.

A little breath escaped Spencer's lips "I'm _so_ in _love _with _you_ it's unreal," she smiled at Ashley as she watched as her eyes light up happily, "Even if you are crazed,"

Ashley reached her hand up to Spencer's face, her hand delicately cupping her cheek, as she pulled her face towards her own; stalling for a few seconds, as she let her eyes connect with Spencer's, conveying everything she was feeling, before letting their lips brush together. After a few seconds Ashley could feel Spencer's grip tightening on her waist, so she pulled back teasingly, loving how Spencer's lips immediately regained her own. Ashley let the tip of her tongue trace the outline of Spencer's bottom lip, instantly being granted access as, using her teeth to gently graze over and pull her lush swollen lip between her own; Spencer's tongue finally meeting her own.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Over the next few weeks things were pretty amazing for Spencer, her and Ashley had patched things up after their minute argument, and Spencer had finally let Ashley in, telling her anything and everything that she felt was important in her life, and this had caused Ashley to open up even more about her own past and family.

Rachel was still in her life, but this mainly consisted of phone calls. Although Ashley hadn't said anything about it, Spencer knew that Rachel really bothered her, and knowing that Spencer was hanging out with her, probably would have made her explode; so Spencer put a stop to it straight away, Ashley was the most important person in her life and she wasn't going to risk it again.

Spencer's dad had remained amazing, and had practically welcomed Ashley into their family with open arms; he even let her stay over as often as she liked, or would let Spencer go to Ashley's if they wanted time alone; a comment that never failed to make Spencer blush. Her brother's were equally supportive, Clay and Ashley got on really well, and even Glen was able to stop being an ass long enough to have a conversation with her.

Her mom on the other hand was a completely different story; it had been a month and a half since Spencer and she had argued, and since her dad had kicked her out of the house, and yet she hadn't called, or dropped by to see them. Glen had met with her twice; apparently she was living with this Ben guy. It still hurt but Spencer had decided that if her mom wasn't even willing to try, maybe it was a sign for her to let it go.

Ashley's mom was hardly ever around, but when she was, she would barely speak to Ashley, and she wouldn't even acknowledge Spencer; which really irritated her, Ashley however didn't seem to care that she wasn't speaking to them; it was easier that way Ashley had commented.

Ashley had left her dad a bunch of voice mails, telling him everything about the pregnancy and her relationship with Spencer, but he hadn't returned any of them. Ashley had brushed it off quickly, insisting that he was just busy and that he'd call back when he got a spare moment, but Spencer could see the sadness in her eyes whenever she answered the phone and it wasn't him.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Since Ashley was around six months pregnant now, she would move around a lot when her and Spencer tried to get to sleep, driving Spencer mad, "Ash, it's like 2am and you haven't stopped fidgeting all night again," Spencer mumbled, her head refusing to move from her pillow as she heard Ashley sigh.

"I'm sorry Spence, I just can't get comfortable, I feel massive and I'm so hot," Ashley replied flicking one of her legs out of the covers.

Spencer rolled over to face Ashley and propped herself onto her elbow, "Maybe this two in the bed thing is creating too much body heat, you want me to go sleep downstairs on the couch?"

Ashley titled her head to find Spencer's eyes in the dark room, "You'd do that for me?"

Spencer laughed, "No, I'd do that for me, I haven't slept properly all week because someone is a fidget-ass, and I'm really tired."

Ashley reached across to brush a piece of hair out of Spencer's face, placing it behind her ear, "Thank God, because I've been dying to get the bed to myself, I just didn't want to hurt your feelings by kicking you out," she replied as a smile formed on her lips.

Spencer leant across her carefully and placed a kiss on Ashley's lips, "I can't believe you've wanted to kick me out of the bed; my own bed too," Spencer teased as she got out of the bed and walked around to Ashley's side, reaching out to hold Ashley's outstretched hand in her own.

"I love you but me and this baby need some room, and we do not do three in the bed," Spencer laughed again and placed a kiss on her hand.

"I'm heading downstairs now, but you know where I am if you need me," Spencer said as she headed out of the room and down to her new sleeping haven; the Carlin family couch.

When Spencer heard the floorboard creak she reluctantly opened her eyes to catch a glimpse of the clock, and then let them fall shut again, subconsciously willing the noise to be nothing.

"Spence…," Spencer heard her name being called but kept her eyes shut as she tried to ignore it, "Spence, you awake?"

Spencer mumbled irritably into her pillow, "It's only been like half an hour Ash, what's up now?" her eyes never opening and her head never lifting from its place.

"I know I know, but you have to get up right now," Ashley rushed excitedly.

"Is there a fire?" Spencer mumbled still not moving.

"A fire?" Ashley repeated confused and then looked around, "What? No there's no fire."

"Then I'm not moving, can't this wait for a few more hours?"

"No this can't wait, now get up!" Ashley pulled back Spencer's covers and gave her a prod until she moved.

"Okay, okay I'm up," Spencer said as she sat up and rubbed the blurriness out of her eyes before focusing on Ashley, who had switched the lights on, "What, you trying to blind me or something?" Spencer asked as she squinted.

Ashley moved and sat down next to Spencer, so that she was facing her, and lifted up her shirt so that her bump was freely on show, "The baby's kicking for the first time," She replied smiling as she placed her hand over it.

Suddenly Spencer felt more awake, as a smile played on her lips; watching as areas of Ashley's belly pushed up and then returned flat again, "That looks amazing, does it hurt?"

Ashley lifted her head to meet Spencer's eyes, "It feels weird, kind of like how you image popcorn to feel when it's popping. Here," she said as she look Spencer's hand and placed it on her stomach, her own hand resting on top, "Feel for yourself."

"Wow, it's so incredible," Spencer looked at her and smiled before retuning her gaze back to her belly, "If feels so strange, but in a really good way."

"He's going wild in there now; he must really like you because it wasn't this much when it started."

Spencer looked back up at Ash and shook her head, "_She_, Ash, you mean _she's_ going wild in there," which caused Ashley to giggle.

"We'll see Carlin."

Spencer didn't think she could love Ashley anymore than she already did, but watching the proud smile appear on her lips as her baby kicked, Spencer knew there were things about Ashley that would make her fall in love with her time and time again.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Spencer struggled up the stairs to Ashley's room with the bags of stuff she'd brought, from her so called 'only essentials,' shopping trip, and dumped them down on Ashley's bed, "Ash?"

"I'm in the bathroom babe," Ashley called back.

Spencer followed her voice as she headed towards the bathroom, opening the door to reveal Ashley in the bath covered in bubbles. Spencer leant against the doorframe, a smile creeping onto her face as she watched her, "So this is what you meant when you said you were going to clean you room?"

Ashley turned to face her and smiled cheekily, "Well I was going to, but this just seemed like a better idea."

"Uh huh, I see," Spencer replied laughing a little.

"Well did you get all the food stuff we needed?"

"Off course I did."

"And that strawberry ice cream that I've really been craving, please tell me you didn't forget that?" Ashley asked, a worried expression appearing on her face.

"I got like three tubs of the stuff; you got really grumpy when I only got you one the last time." Spencer stuck her tongue out in response when she saw Ashley gasp and shoot daggers at her.

"I so didn't!"

"You made me leave the house!" Spencer laughed.

Ashley smiled, "I can't help it if the baby likes strawberry ice cream. And I'm sorry I made you leave," a playful pout appeared on her lips.

"You should be," Spencer replied as she walked back into the bedroom, rummaging around in the bags, "But just to make it up to you anyway, I got you a little something," Spencer appeared back in the room, bag in hand and sat down on the toilet opposite Ashley.

Spencer reached down into the bag, and pulled out a little baby onesie, turning it around and holding it up so that she could show Ashley. Ashley laughed as she saw the light grey onesie, which had a picture of two garden gnomes on it, the slogan 'Hangin' With My Gnomies,' written underneath, "That's adorable!" Ashley exclaimed once her laughter had died down, a happy smile still gracing her lips.

"Wait before you get to excited, I have another one," Spencer said playfully as she pulled out another new born onesie. This one was black, and had lots of heart doodles around the slogan 'My Mommy Is A Hottie!"

"Aw I so love that one! Not sure how true it is though."

"It's true, trust me," Spencer replied leaning forward to capture Ashley's lips, pulling back so that their foreheads were resting against each other.

"Thank you for those, they're adorable," Ashley replied, opening her eyes to meet Spencer's.

Spencer pulled back and placed the baby onesies back into the bag, "It would have been so much easier if we knew the sex. I mean some of the little boy and girl's clothes are so cute I could have cried."

"I don't need to know the sex, remember? I'll love the baby no matter what."

Spencer smiled back, "Yeah I know you're right. Well have you given any thought to names?"

Ashley's face dropped, "No I haven't. I guess things have just been so crazy with everything that's been going on lately, that I just haven't had the chance."

Spencer reached out and brushed some of the hair clinging to Ashley's damp forehead behind her ear and gave her a smile, "Don't worry Ash, you'll think of some. You still have a couple of months."

"You always know exactly the right thing to make me feel better," Ashley replied as she watched Spencer look at her lovingly, "Come get in here with me?"

Spencer bit her lip and nodded in response; standing up to slowly shed all of her clothes. Her cheeks heating up in the form of a blush, as she felt Ashley's eyes soaking up every part of her body, "Move forwards," Spencer requested and Ashley simply followed the instruction without hesitation.

Spencer stepped into the bath and lowered herself into the warm water carefully, letting Ashley's back rest against her chest, as her own legs surrounded the brunette's body. Ashley felt Spencer wrap her arms around her from behind, and immediately relaxed into the embrace as she felt Spencer's hands coming up to rest on her stomach.

"Your skin feels really soft," Spencer murmured as she let her fingers trace patterns on Ashley's bump, "And you look really beautiful all covered in bubbles," Spencer declared as she pressed a kiss onto Ashley's shoulder.

Ashley smiled and angled her head back a little bit so that she could see Spencer's face, "So do you."

"So what names do you kind of like?" Spencer asked as she nuzzled Ashley's neck.

Ashley was silent for a minute, enjoying the feeling of being in Spencer's arms, as she tried to think of some suitable names for her baby, "What about something unusual like River or Gage, or Aldo?"

"Ash you can't call your baby any of those names!" Spencer replied quickly, her face cringing at the though of Aldo Davies.

"Why not?"

"They're horrible! I mean I don't mind unusual names, but you can't just quickly think them up like that, I mean the kids going to have to live with that name for the rest of its life, and you have to think about whether the name goes with your last name," Spencer tried to reason.

"Well you're not suggesting anything, you could help?"

Spencer's hands stilled on her stomach and Ashley titled her head to see her again. A questioning expression dominating her features, "It's not my baby though Ash. I don't really have any right to suggest names."

"I wish it was yours, our baby I mean," Ashley smiled sadly.

"I'd have to be real butch to pull that off, don't you think?" Spencer joked; feeling pleased with herself when she saw the sadness leave Ashley's eyes, as a genuine laugh escaped her lips.

"I really want you to be involved in the baby's life," she paused and let her eyes search Spencer's, "If you want to? I guess I haven't really thought about how much me having a baby is going to change things between us," Ashley was nervously biting her bottom lip.

"I knew you were pregnant when I fell for you Ash. Sharing all of these pregnancy experiences with you has already been such a privilege, and I'd love nothing more than to be a part of yours and the baby's life once it's born," Spencer let her hand find one of Ashley's and entwined their fingers.

"I'm so lucky to have you; I love you so much," Ashley bought Spencer's hand up to her lips and placed a kiss on her skin, "Now you get to suggest names, so let's see if you can do better than me. Darwin?" Ashley put forward.

"How about like traditional names, like Edmond or Quinton for boys and Sophia or Rose for girls?"

"Shit Spence it's not the 1940's, and I'm not from a traditional family, I don't think I need to call my baby Margaret or some shit,"

"But you think Darwin is ok?" Spencer cut in.

"What's wrong with that?" Ashley shot back defensively.

"It's like an animal name…like Felix…or Sebastian….its just wrong!"

Ashley laughed, "Fine fine, how about Garth?"

"Garth?" Spencer repeated, "'Like from 'Wayne's World'? You can't be serious?" Spencer dropped her head onto Ashley's shoulder and laughed, her hands moving to Ashley's sides to tickle her.

Ashley laughed too, and grabbed Spencer's hands to get her to stop, "Okay I was joking about Garth! But seriously I kind of like Landon for a boy, it's kind of got that rock star edge to it," Ashley angled her head to see Spencer's reaction.

Spencer smiled at her, "I like Landon; it's unusual but not to out there. Landon Davies," Spencer repeated, testing the name out, "It definitely has that Davies' rock star edge to it."

"I love it," Ashley answered smiling, "I think that's the name if he's a boy. Now we just need a girl's name."

Spencer bit her bottom lip, "I always liked Taylor for a girl," she suggested, her hands going back to rest on Ashley's bump.

Ashley gasped, "Did you feel that?" she asked Spencer smiling.

"Yeah I did, was a good one too," Spencer nodded.

"I think that kick means he or she approves. Landon Davies for a boy and Taylor Davies for a girl; I love them. Thank you for helping me choose."

Spencer held Ashley as close as possible and leaned her head over her shoulder, as Ashley leant back in to her as much as she could and angled her head to meet their eyes; their heads both slowly leaning in, stopping when their lips brushed. They kissed softly and tenderly, their kisses lingering.

"This baby is going to be lucky to have you," Spencer murmured after they pulled back.

Ashley smiled at her, "You mean this baby is going to be so lucky to have us, Spence."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

When Ashley was about eight months pregnant, her father finally returned her calls; he was extremely understanding and apologized for his slow response, telling Ashley that his tour was going crazily well and had kept him busy. Ashley had asked him if he could come home, but unfortunately he had a contract preventing him from leaving his band's tour, and instead promised her she and his grandchild would be his first visit after the tour had ended. Although he knew it wouldn't make up for not being their, Raife Davies had immediately released her inheritance money to her, and told her to buy her own place away from her horrible mother.

Spencer was pretty sure that Ashley would want to live in some massive mansion or modern loft apartment, and was happily surprised when Ashley chose a three-bedroom house in a suburban area just outside the city. Ashley was determined to give her unborn baby the childhood she'd never had, and wanted her child to have the opportunities to meet and play with other young children.

Spencer was practically giddy when Ashley asked her to move in with her, and said she'd love to, the only problem being if she couldn't get her father's permission. Arthur Carlin was however once again the perfect father, and agreed that Spencer could move in with Ashley, as long as they all got together to have a family meal once a week.

Spencer had been even more surprised when Glen offered to help them move and decorate, along with Clay's help. Since that night Glen had come into her room, he had made a real effort to be there for her, and was even developing a soft spot for Ashley; this new found affection for Ashley was demonstrated when a guy groped at her stomach, and Glen swiftly punched him in the face.

When all the rooms in the house had been decorated and all of the new furniture moved in, Spencer and Ashley had spent ages putting together the baby's room. They'd gone for a beautiful old fashioned wooden cot, with a cute animal mobile dangling above it, a selection of colorful wardrobes and draws, which contained a selection of new born clothes, all gender neutral, and of course loads of different toys, ranging from teddy bears to wooden blocks.

Spencer couldn't believe how natural it felt to live alone with Ashley; it was like they always had. They had a routine that worked for them both, and could do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Spencer let herself in to the house, and placed her keys down on the table in the hallway, and then continued down the hall with a bag of take out in her hand, "Hey Ash, I'm sorry I'm late home, the traffic was really bad and then I thought I'd stop and get us some Chinese."

Spencer walked into the living room and looked at the couch, the pillows were rearranged and squashed and the TV was on, signs that Ashley had clearly been there, "Ash?" Spencer called out again when Ashley didn't respond.

"I'm in the kitchen," came the muffled reply.

Spencer smiled and then headed towards the kitchen, placing the bag down on the counter when she got there; but still unable to see Ashley, "Ash?" she repeated looking around confused.

"I'm down here," Ashley replied breathing heavily.

Spencer walked around the breakfast bar and found Ashley squatting down, her back leaning against one of the kitchen units, "Oh my God, Ash are you okay?" Spencer rushed to her and bent down so that their eyes were level.

"I think I'm having contractions…" Ashley replied breathing through the pain.

Spencer wiped Ashley's hair away from her forehead and tucked it behind her ears, "Why didn't you call me?"

"I thought they were those Braxton Hicks ones and then I'd call you and we'd rush to the hospital and I'd be over reacting over nothing," Ashley grabbed Spencer's hand and squeezed it as she continued to breathe in and out deeply, "But now I'm thinking they're not so fake, I'm having them like every five to ten minutes."

"How long have you been feeling like this?" Spencer asked as panic filled her head.

"Since I got up this morning…"

"I should call an ambulance; we really need to get you to a hospital." Spencer recommended anxiously as she wiped the layer of sweat that had appeared on Ashley's forehead away.

Ashley shook her head in immediate response, "No don't do that I'm fine, my water hasn't even broken yet," She paused to take a few deep breaths, "Maybe you could just help me to the couch?"

Spencer placed one hand behind Ashley's back and with her other hand she grasped one of Ashley's, so that she could gently pull her to her feet, "What was that?"

Ashley looked down at their feet, "Shit, I think my water just broke."

"You really need to go to a hospital now, let me call an ambulance," Spencer asked as she steadied Ashley against her.

"No don't call them, you take me, it's not that far from here…" Ashley breathed out.

Spencer shook her head, "Ash that's crazy, what if you go into labor on the way there? I'm not going to have an idea what to do!"

"I won't, I promise…please no ambulance," Ashley begged.

Spencer agreed and managed to get Ashley into the car, handing her a phone, as she pulled away from their house and headed to the hospital, "You should call your dad, and mine, and let them know we're heading to the hospital."

When they arrived at the hospital, Spencer parked her car and ran inside to get some help; she returned moments later with an orderly, who had a wheelchair for Ashley. He helped Ashley out of the car and took them to reception, where they were greeted by a doctor and a nurse.

"What's the name? And how far along are you?" The nurse asked as she looked down at Ashley.

"It's Ashley Davies, and I'm 35 weeks….my due date is next Friday," Ashley replied breathing deeply.

"I'm Dr DeLuca," The man said as he held his hand out to shake Spencer's hand, before turning to look at Ashley, "I'm going to take you to exam room 1 and see how far along you are," Ashley gulped and nodded, "Don't be nervous okay? I've done this hundreds of time and I promise I'll take good care of you and your baby," he the turned his attention back to the nurse, "Maria, could you get Spencer some scrubs please, and then bring her to exam 1 when she's changed."

Spencer placed a quick kiss on Ashley's forehead and then followed the nurse to change, as the orderly and Doctor DeLuca took Ashley to exam room 1 to begin the examination. When Spencer came into the room, the doctor had just finished doing a pelvic examination on Ashley, and she could see the nurses monitoring her and baby's heart rates.

Spencer sat down on the stool next to Ashley's side and took her hand between her own, letting her thumb run over her skin soothingly, "You okay?"

"I'm okay," Ashley reassured her, before turning to look back at the doctor.

"Well Ashley, everything seems to be okay, you're dilated 6cm, effaced at 60 but you're still at -1 station," explained Dr DeLuca, pausing to make sure Ashley had understood, "this means your baby has dropped, but hasn't yet settled into your pelvis to begin his/hers decent. So I think it's going to be awhile as yet."

"Thanks Doctor," Ashley replied flashing him a smile between breaths.

"You're on oxygen now to take the edge of the pain, but I can perform an epidural to numb you from the chest down if the pain is too bad for you?"

Ashley nodded her head, "No it's okay thank you, I want to try and do this as naturally as possible."

The doctor stayed with them over the next twenty minutes, answering and explaining any questions they had about the birth, as the nurses moved around them continuously monitoring both Ashley's and the baby's heart rates.

The door opened and a young dark haired nurse appeared, "I'm sorry to interrupt Dr DeLuca, but we have a mass causality accident on the way in, and Dr Fisher said we're going to need all the help we can get, including yours," he nodded his head in response, "ETA, 2 minutes out and the emergency rooms are prepped."

Dr DeLuca stood up and thanked the nurse as she left, before turning back to the group of nurses already in the room, "Page OB and get someone to come down here and cover me until I get back," he then turned to Ashley, "I'm going to have to go now, but someone will be down to monitor you while I'm gone and then I'll be straight back to deliver this beautiful baby of yours okay?" he said smiling at her.

As soon as he left the room, one of the nurses called OB and requested that someone come down to the ER to monitor Ashley until Dr DeLuca returned, "They said they should be sending Dr Harper down," one of the nurses told Ashley and Spencer, "She's really nice, you'll like her."

Spencer wiped the hair away from Ashley's sweaty forehead, clearly able to see that her contractions were getting stronger, "Are you alright Ash?"

Ashley breathed deeply, her eyes closing every now and then due to the pain, "I don't know…" She turned to look at Spencer, anxiety in her eyes.

Spencer turned to the nurses, who were standing together talking in hushed voices, "Excuse me? Its been like twenty minutes and this Dr Harper hasn't come from OB, When will she get here?"

One of the nurses looked at the fetal heartbeat monitor and then at Spencer, "I'll go and check the floor and see if I can find someone available," she said before leaving the room. The nurse returned, and held the door open, allowing another person to step through; Spencer and Ashley's gazes immediately going to see who it was.

"No way, I don't want her in here," Ashley yelled angrily when she saw Paula Carlin standing with the nurse, "I want someone else, anyone else, just not her!" Ashley suddenly breathed really deeply her hand going straight to clench her stomach, "Something doesn't feel right…"

Paula quickly gloved up and sat herself between Ashley's raised legs, ignoring her comments. She checked the fetal monitor and then used her finger's to carry out an exam; an anguished look appearing on her face, "Did Dr DeLuca know this baby was breech?" she asked turning to one of the nurses.

Before the nurse could answer the fetal heartbeat monitor beeped loudly and Ashley cried out in pain, "What the fuck is going on?" Spencer lashed out, her eyes moving from the monitor to her mother.

"The baby's in Bradycardia, heart rates dropped to 90 bmp," a nurse called over to Paula.

"Shit! The umbilical cord has prolapsed! Set me up for an emergency caesarean now! What anesthetics has she received?" Paula yelled out with authority.

One nurse grabbed the equipment required for the caesarean, while the other responded, "She's only received oxygen; you can't be serious about doing the C-section here Dr Carlin?"

Spencer was standing there is shock, not understanding anything that was going on between her mother and the nurses. She turned her attention back to Ashley who was crying and breathing intensely, "Shh Ash, it's okay; everything will be okay," Spencer cooed, trying to comfort her, while holding her own emotion back.

"There's no time to move her up to surgery, this baby needs to come out now! Insert an IV and start general anesthetic now," Paula barked at the nurse.

"Please don't let my baby die," Ashley sobbed out, ignoring the nurse inserting the intravenous line into her arm.

"Ashley look at me," Paula said firmly, waiting for Ashley's eyes to settle on hers, "I promise you that I won't let your baby die, but I need to put you to sleep and perform a caesarean, okay? Trust me," Paula watched as Ashley nodded, and signaled to the nurse, who injected the drug into the IV, "When you wake up you'll have a tube in your throat to help you breath; don't worry it's all part of it," Ashley nodded again and Spencer placed a kiss on her forehead as the nurse lowered the bed and inserted a breathing tube down Ashley's throat.

Spencer couldn't believe how helpless she looked and felt, as everything happened so quickly. As soon as Ashley was unconscious and the breathing tube had been inserted to help her breathe; Paula covered Ashley's abdomen in anti-bacterial solution, and used a scalpel to make an incision above the pubic bone, exposing the uterus and making another incision there. With the help of a nurse, forceps and her own hands, Paula was able to pull the baby from Ashley's stomach in a matter of minutes; cutting the umbilical cord and handing the crying baby over to a nurse, who rushed it over to an incubator to check its vitals.

Spencer felt tears escape her eyes as she heard the loud cry escape the baby's lips; she leant forward to place a kiss on Ashley's forehead.

"What is going on in here Dr Carlin?" Asked a young women with her hair tied back in a bun.

Paula turned to face her, "How nice of you to finally turn up Dr Harper. I had to perform and emergency C-Section on your patient since the umbilical cord prolapsed. Maybe you would like to close her up, while I check on the baby."

Dr Harper didn't reply, instead she gloved up and swapped places with Paula, immediately beginning to stitch Ashley up. Paula walked over to the baby, and asked the nurse, who had wiped down and checked the baby's vitals, a few questions, before she turned to Spencer, who was still sitting at Ashley's side, "Spencer," Paula got her daughter's attention and beckoned her over with her finger.

Spencer got up from Ashley's side and walked over to her mother; finally able to get a first real look at Ashley's beautiful baby, "She's gorgeous," Paula said turning to her daughter, who had tears rolling down on cheeks; accompanied by a massive smile.

"She's perfect," Spencer replied, her eyes taking in every part of the little new born girl.

Paula held out a pair of umbilical cord scissors, "You want to cut the cord?"

Spencer turned to mom and then looked over at Ashley, "She should get to do this; it's her baby."

Paula looked over and placed a hand on her daughter's shoulders, "She loves you; she'd want you to do it," she reassured, her eye's landing on her own daughter's.

Spencer smiled and nodded her head, taking the umbilical cord scissors from her mom and cutting the baby's where it had been clamped, "When will she wake up? I can't wait to see her look at this beautiful one for the first time," Spencer asked as she lightly touched the baby's hand; smiling even more when the baby stopped crying and grabbed hold of her finger; her little finger's clenching around it.

Paula smiled as she watched her daughter look at the little baby girl with so much love, "She could wake up anytime between fifteen to sixty minutes. They'll take her up to recovery after they've finished stitching her up. This one seems like a natural to the world already; she's perfectly healthy, so she can go to recovery with Ashley."

Spencer turned to look at her mom, "Thank you for doing everything you could for them today. I know we're not speaking right now but it means a lot to me that you did this."

Paula smiled, her eyes welling up, "You shouldn't have to thank me. I'm so sorry Spence; I love you so much, and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that before," Paula said as she pulled her into an embrace, "I'm so proud of you for being the person you are, and for seeing you with Ashley today."

"Thank you," Spencer whispered, "I love you mom."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Once Dr Harper had finished stitching Ashley up, she and Paula took Ashley, Spencer and the baby up to recovery; Paula managing to get them a private room. Spencer watched as her mom checked on Ashley's vitals, "She's doing well," she told Spencer as she turned to look at her, "She should be awake soon."

Spencer was sitting in a chair besides Ashley's bed; the incubator pulled between her legs so she could watch over Ashley's stunning daughter, "That's good."

"Why don't I go get us some coffee?" Paula suggested, "You look like you could do with some, and I know I could." Spencer nodded in response, her eyes never moving from the baby.

Spencer was holding Ashley's hand, letting her thumb trace patterns on her skin and was surprised to feel pressure in response; turning her head to look at Ashley, "Hey you, you're finally awake," Spencer smiled as her eyes met Ashley's; Paula returning to the room.

Paula placed the coffees down on the side and walked over to Ashley, "I think we should get this tube out of you, because there's someone here, who would really like to meet you," Paula smiled as Ashley's eye's moved from Spencer's to her own and lifted the bed into a sitting position, "I'm going to count to three and then I want you breathe out as hard as you can okay?" she watched her nod in response, "1…2…3," Paula pulled the tube from Ashley's throat.

Ashley coughed, as the tube was removed and took the oxygen mask being handed to her, "Take a few deep breathes of that and you should be okay," Paula looked at Spencer's and nodded in indication that Spencer should pass Ashley her little girl.

Spence carefully leant over the incubator and picked the baby up; making sure she was supporting her head and then straightened up; the baby in her arms as she turned to Ashley; gently placing the baby in Ashley's arms. Ashley looked down at the tiny form in her arms, her skin was olive like her own, a patch of chocolate hair covered her head, and beautiful eyes flickered open to look at her every so often; Ashley couldn't stop tears of happiness escaping from her eyes.

"She's beautiful just like her mom, huh?" Spencer asked smiling contentedly as she watched Ashley's eye's roam over her daughter, already filled with unconditional love.

Ashley used her free hand to tenderly caress her daughter's face, "She's so beautiful, I can't believe I created her," Ashley turned her gaze to meet Spencer's, "Did you tell them her name?"

Spencer shook her head, "No, I wanted you to do it, besides I didn't want to tell them and then have you decide that you wanted to call her Princess or something," this caused Ashley to laugh lightly.

"Now that I've gotten to meet her, I know the name we picked out is perfect," Spencer leant down to press a kiss on Ashley's forehead, but was stopped when Ashley raised her face up, looking deep into Spencer's eyes; Spencer smiled at her lovingly and leant in to kiss her on the lips; not caring that her mother was still present in the room.

"What name did you choose?" Paula asked when they broke the kiss, a small smile on her lips.

"Taylor," Ashley replied.

"Taylor Davies," Paula smiled, "It suits that gorgeous one perfectly."

Ashley looked down at Taylor, who was sleeping peacefully in her arms and then back at Paula, "Mrs. C, thank you."

Paula smiled at her and sincerity appeared in her eyes, "No, I should be thanking you," she watched as confusion covered Ashley's face, "You've made my daughter unbelievably happy and watching you two together, with that beautiful baby girl of yours, has made me realize that no love should ever be considered a sin," Ashley was smiling at her and Spencer had tears in her eyes, "So thank you; you've both made me realize that the values I live by, aren't necessarily the right ones."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

After the birth of Ashley's little girl, Taylor Davies, she had to remain in hospital for four days. Paula assured her that this was completely normal after a caesarian; that they just wanted to check that she was healing correctly and that the baby was doing well.

Ashley and Spencer were really glad to see when Arthur, Clay and Glen arrived at the hospital to visit them, the day after Taylor was born. Arthur was instantly the doting grandfather, he kept calling himself 'Granddad Art,' and had taken so many pictures of Ashley, Spencer and the baby, that Spencer was pretty sure there was no more film left in the world. Clay was his normal kind adorable self, but what surprised Spencer and Ashley the most was Glen; he'd arrived at the hospital with a massive bunch of expensive flowers, had hugged his sister, and kissed Ashley on the cheek, congratulating them. Ashley had let him hold her; a move which Spencer wasn't to sure on, and he had ended up being the most careful and gentle man she had ever seen with a baby.

When Ashley and Taylor were ready to be discharged from the hospital, Glen came to pick them up, and offered to help as often as he could, since Ashley's C-Section recovery of 6 weeks required no heavy lifting and lots of rest.

When they arrived at their house, Glen had rushed around to Ashley's side to help her get out carefully, "I'm not disabled Glen."

Glen chuckled and continued to hold her steady, "Yeah I know, I just like having an excuse to put my hands on you."

Spencer rolled her eyes at him and watched Ashley shoot him a disgusted look, "Glen why don't you take Taylor," Spencer placed Taylor in Glen's arms, "That way you'll keep your hands off of my girl and onto one who doesn't despise you….yet," Spencer let Ashley put her weight on her and led her into the house.

Glen looked down at the little girl in his arms, her eyes opening to fix on him, "You don't despise your Uncle do you?" the baby gurgled, and he smiled, "I knew you didn't. Your mommies are wacko's' they just don't appreciate a good man like myself,"

"We actually don't appreciate any man the way you want us to," Spencer interrupted as she looked out from her doorway, "Now get in here you asshat."

Glen rolled his eyes and laughed, as he followed his sister into the house, "She really is beautiful Ash," he said as he placed Taylor in her arms.

Ashley smiled at him, "She's got my genes, what'd you expect."

Glen laughed and looked her up and down, his eyebrow rising, "Don't say a single word of the repulsive thoughts that are in your head right now Glen. I swear I will kick your ass if you flirt with my girlfriend, in our house," Spencer said interrupting him before he had the chance to reply.

"Damn Spence, jealous much? When did you become the butch dominating one in the relationship?" he joked.

Spencer threw a pack of diapers at him, and Ashley laughed; glad that the Carlin's were now people she could call family.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Spencer was spooning Ashley from behind when she heard Taylor's distinctive cries, her eyes opened as she glanced at the clock; 3.29am. She could feel Ashley stirring in her arms, and so she placed a kiss on her neck before continuing to nuzzle her face in the crook of her neck, "I'll go," she murmured into her ear before placing another kiss on her neck, "You stay."

Spencer heard Ashley mumble in response as she left their warm bed to head through the connecting door and into Taylor's room, reaching down to lift her into hers, whispering soothing words to her.

"I can't believe how good she is with you," Spencer turned when she heard a raspy voice; Ashley stood leaning against the doorframe watching her.

"That's because Taylor already loves me," Spencer smiled in response, turning her gaze back to Taylor.

Spencer felt arms wrap around her waist from behind, as kisses were placed on the back of her neck, "Taylor isn't the only one."


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Note**

Hey everyone, I'm really sorry for the slow update, been a busy week. Anyway this is the last chapter to this story, so I want to say a massive thanks to everyone who has read it; I've had fun writing it and hearing your feedback. A massive thanks to my beta again **KickMyself**, despite being absent for the last few updates aka to busy on holiday lol.

I seriously am going to do a massive feedback on all of your feedback, because some of you lovely people have been with me from the start and I want to give you special thanks!

**Not Quite Home – Chapter 20 – Home**

Spencer sat on the steps of her porch, watching as Taylor ran around on their front lawn, playing with a group of girls; a smile gracing her lips as the sun shone brightly down on her.

Sometimes when she watched Taylor, or looked at Ashley; Spencer would replay some moments of her life so far through her mind; each one bringing with it its own story, a perfect beginning, middle and end.

Watching Taylor, now five years old, shiny olive skin, dark chocolate hair and big beautiful brown eyes, the spitting image of her mom, running around and playing with other children; Spencer was reminded of how she first met Ashley, and how being with her were some of the only good memories she had of that year.

After Taylor had been born, Paula had changed her attitude completely. She had finished with Ben and sat down to have a long talk with Arthur, discussing with him everything she felt, why she had cheated, and why she wanted to get their marriage back to the way it was before. Luckily for her, Arthur Carlin was a patient and forgiving man, who still loved her, and they were able to put the past behind them and move on.

When it came down to her attitudes towards Spencer being gay and her relationship with Ashley, she had completely stopped her religious comments; claiming that any religion that hated any type of love between people, must have some parts of the puzzle missing.

She had also become, along with Arthur, the most doting grandparent towards Taylor. They loved her so much, and would buy her clothes and toys non-stop. Luckily for Spencer and Ashley, Taylor seemed to love her grandparents as much as they loved her and would stay with them some weekends, giving Spencer and Ashley a well deserved break.

Ashley's own father, Raife Davies, had also kept his promise of visiting her after his tour ended. Spencer still couldn't recall a time when Ashley squealed and smiled so much. Ashley and her father were like two-peas in a pod, and had this incredible banter and way with each other. He hadn't even questioned Ashley's relationship with Spencer; in fact he adored Spencer and the Carlin's so much that group holidays and Christmas' became a yearly event.

Clay and Glen were also actively involved in Taylor's life, and although Spencer and Ashley tried to stop her from saying it, she highly favored 'Uncle G,' who she insisted was much cooler and gave her way more sweets than her Uncle Clay.

Spencer smiled as Taylor ran towards her, landing as a heap in her lap, her arms going instinctively around her, "Mom can we have some ice cream now?"

Spencer watched as her brown eyes lit up, "I think we can do that, you've been a good girl all day," Spencer placed Taylor on the ground and stood up, "Why don't you go and wash your hands, and then we can choose what flavor you want."

Taylor smiled and nodded her head excitedly, thanking Spencer before running into the house. Spencer turned her gaze towards her house, her eyes landing on Ashley, who was smiling down at her from the porch. Spencer walked up the steps and stopped in front of her, smiling down at their baby in her arms, "You finally got him to sleep?"

"Yeah thank God," Ashley breathed out as Spencer looked up at her, their eyes locking, "He's totally gorgeous, but Landon is all you when he doesn't get enough sleep."

Spencer mocked hurt before returning Ashley's smile, "What can I say, he's his mother's boy, a good set of lungs, but enough charm to pull it off."

Ashley laughed, "He's charming; you not so much," she turned and began to walk into their house, "You've lost it a bit in your old age!" Ashley called over her shoulder, smiling at her cheekily before continuing into their house.

She smiled as she watched Ashley walk in to their house, knowing that five years of being together hadn't hampered their love at all; instead it had made Spencer realize that she would be able to fall in love with Ashley again and again, everyday for the rest of her life.

Spencer still knew that LA wasn't home, but neither was Ohio anymore; over the years she had come to understand, that it wasn't the place you were in that was home; it was the person you were with; and for Spencer, when she was with Ashley she knew she was home.


End file.
